America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Makes A Disclaimer

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Bye, Curious

Miss J. then points the girls to a basket full of outlandish hats and has them each choose one, along with a sheer skirt. He interviews that personality is very important for a runway model, because one has to work with so many different designers and concepts. He tells the girls that he wants them each to dance around, and interviews that they all need to be more over-the-top. The results are uniformly hilarious. Upon Kim's dance, which is a bit like that of Elaine Benes, Miss J. says he has no words. Kim interviews that if anyone should understand a difference of gender expression, it should be Miss J. She adds an "I mean, are you kidding?" that would get her a 20% warn in the forums if she didn't look so smoking-hot in her interview outfit. Lisa looks like a dehydrated crack whore. Cassandra is prissy and makes Miss J. clutch his pearls. Sarah flails around and yells, "Wooo!" prompting Miss J. to say that she is a big ball of confusion. He imitates her kind of awesomely. She interviews that she realized after she did her dance how dumb it looked, and hopes never to see it again. This is the point where a little disembodied head of an editor should pop up in the bottom corner with a speech balloon that says, "Ha." Miss J. says that Kim and Sarah were the two worst walkers, which means they have to work extra-hard. He adds that the lesson does not stop there.

Tyra Mail! Coryn reads, "You've discovered who's fierce and who falls flat on the catwalk. Tomorrow the tables turn. Be ready at 9:15 AM." I am too distracted trying to determine if she has an Adam's apple to interpret this. Some of the girls practice walking. Cassandra mentions pageants again. Sarah asks Bre to help her. She says that she didn't used to be such a bad walker, but now is thinking about it too much. She says she needs to get it right in her head right now, and speaks in such a sad tone that you know she's not only confused about her walk. Kim asks the others if anyone has ever been kicked off for being a bad walker and they say yes. She interviews that she's used to being one of the best at everything she does, so this is really hard for her. Oh, Kim. Say goodbye to twenty-one and hello to the recognition that you're not really that special. She throws her hands up and says she's had enough. Bre cryptically interviews, "Modeling isn't something that Kim knows well. So you stick to what you know. You know girls, you know you like 'em, you know you're good at getting them." Okay, I guess that's really not that cryptic, especially given the shot of Kim showing off her strong arms to Sarah. ["Is getting girls something you can do as a full-time job? Interesting." -- Wing Chun] Bre says that Kim might want to practice her walk, because you can't study on the day of the test. The other girls look on at Kim trying to teach Sarah how to do a push-up. Oh, lesbian seduction. It's a wonder it's not the subject of more Harlequin romance novels. Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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