America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Makes A Disclaimer

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Bye, Curious

The next morning, the girls get ready. A really tired and demonic-looking Cassandra interviews that Tyra said at the last elimination that they were going to cut her hair even more in the style of Mia Farrow. She says that she was angry at that point, and hates seeing her ugly face/hair every day. You think that's bad, honey, wait till someone holds up a mirror to your soul. Cassandra whines and complains to the others per usual, and says she has a one in eleven shot of being the next Top Model. Nicole says that she shouldn't think about it in terms of her chances, but rather whether modeling is something she really wants to do. She says, "If this is what you really, really want to do...then I say CUT IT." (The way she says "CUT IT" indicates that she is sick of hearing about the hair.)

The girls go poolside in a ritzy area where they are soon to encounter giant sequined flippers walking toward them. On top of the flippers is one Miss J., replete in a sequined '50s swim outfit, sheer fuchsia cape, and sequined bathing cap. He looks kind of like Miss Piggy in her Esther Williams fantasy in The Great Muppet Caper. He tells the girls that while they may one day walk on grass, stone, or glass, today they will have to do their fiercest walk ever around the pool. Very, very exotic. Bre stomps it up, and J. loves it. Kyle needs to be comfortable with being tall. Nik needs to pick up the pace. Jayla is scattered. Diane is willing to learn. Miss J. yells, "Beauty pageant, beauty pageant, beauty pageant" as Cassandra walks, and I can kind of see why she's so annoyed by the constant pageant references. ["But seriously, beauty pageant. She walks like she's trying to balance a stack of books on her head." -- Wing Chun] Coryn needs to look alive. On Nicole's walk, Miss J. yells, "Shake it but don't break it 'cause the boys won't take it," and I have no idea what that means. He also calls Nicole's somethings collapsible. It sounds like he's saying Nicole's "holsters," but I don't know what that means either. Lisa is not focused (i.e. drunk), and is all over the place. Miss J. calls Sarah "Miss Tippy Tumbles," and she says she hopes to prove to everyone that she doesn't suck as much as she appears to. He tells her to give more neck when she walks and notes that her head looks like a turtle retreating to its shell whenever anyone talks to her. He does an impression that's right on. Miss J. says that Kim's walk will be special because she is special. Does he secretly think she's retarded or something? She says that she wants to put her own personality into it but also have a feminine flair, which is difficult. She looks pretty awkward, and J. says that she looks like a marionette without the strings. He interviews that she has an incredible face and should be able to do really well, but unfortunately, they don't have five years.

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America's Next Top Model




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