America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Makes A Disclaimer

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Bye, Curious

The girls return for their evaluations. Tyra commends Jayla for being a trouper and getting her hair cut and not being Cassandra. Twiggy agrees that the hair looks gorgeous. The judges agree that Jayla has a long way to go on her walk. Tyra tells the girls that, in their photos, they were actually running away from the "fashion police witch," and she shows Jayla's photo, which has a green-faced and black-outfitted Miss J. looming behind her. It's kind of creepy, actually. The judges all love Jayla's photo, in which she looks scared but still pretty. And indeed, it is a good photo.

Coryn is next, and Sue thinks her walk was too stiff and stoic. Nigel says that it wasn't a signature walk. I think that Miss J. says that Coryn's signature is the "health" that she has, and that she needs to stick with her smile. Coryn then busts out into a pretty smile that makes the judges light up. They like her close-up photo but agree that the full-body shot, in which she is wearing a very out J. Lo velour track suit, leaves something to be desired.

Tyra tells Diane that she should walk as if there is wind blowing in her hair, and that she needs to "create her own wind." Oh, Diane creates her own wind, all right -- after a delicious dinner with Bobo at The Chili Palace. (Did I just make a fart joke? Gross.) Twiggy says that Diane looks completely stunted in the shot, and not at all like she's running. Some forum posters noted that Diane looks totally skinny-fied in the shot, and it's true. Her legs are about ½ the size. Tyra asks for a close-up of the fashion witch, and Sue Wong says he looks like the Purple People Eater. His face is a different color in every shot. Nigel jokes that he needs to diversify his look. And, poor Diane. You know you're boring the judges when they start to joke about one another.

Kim is next, and Tyra asks what was up with the disclaimer. Kim says she knows that her walk is her biggest obstacle and just isn't there yet. Tyra says that Kim missed the mark, and that though she's learned how to do all the feminine stuff, today Tyra was asking for KIM, i.e., manly Stanley. Kim then says, "I'm constantly trying to figure out what my gender is. That's hard in life, in this competition, every day, all the time." I didn't actually think that Kim was borderline transgendered. And if this is the case, I wonder why she isn't closer with Coryn. Anyway, at this admission, Tyra helpfully and sensitively tells Kim to look at some men's fashion magazines, because male models tend to be somewhat feminized when they pose. The judges love Kim's photo, although I think she looks exactly like Peter Billingsley in A Christmas Story. Seriously, it is not good. I think they just don't want to cut her so they can film her bedding the rest of the girls. (And I just said "bedding" as if I were in a Jackie Collins novel. What is happening to me?)

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America's Next Top Model

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