America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Loves Bubbles And Talks To Plants

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Coryn's Got A Secret

A short time later, Lisa expertly corks a bottle of wine. Kyle interviews that Lisa's drinking is hurting her, and that the judges aren't going to want an alcoholic as America's Next Top Model. Lisa does a little dance on her bed while holding the Ikea Wine Tumbler of Doom. Nicole interviews that Lisa's behavior and drinking are bizarre to her. Lisa belches. Nicole says that it's hard to be around her all the time. Outside, Lisa knocks over an empty wine glass. Kim just laughs at her, which I love. Lisa mocks Kim's laugh as she cleans up and heads off. After she leaves, Bre, Kim, and Kyle roll their eyes and say that she's drunk. A sober Lisa interviews that she's at a different place in the house right now because no one's looking at the good things she's done or cutting her any slack. And...I feel a little bad for her, I have to say, but only because I have a soft spot for lovable drunken hobos. A pathetic-looking Drunk Lisa sits in a lounge chair by the pool in darkness. Sober Lisa interviews that she feels betrayed and hurt and doesn't know whom to trust. But Drunk Lisa gazes longingly across the pool. Her eyes settle on a giant spiky fern, and she says softly, "I love Cousin It [the fern]. I feel like me and Cousin It are almost the same." She then addresses Cousin It directly, asking, "What's the secret?" He remains stoic, so she replies, "No, it's cool, man, you don't have to tell me." Cousin It is an enigma wrapped inside a mystery wrapped inside of chlorophyll.

Inside, someone notes that Lisa is sleeping on the porch. A manly voice, which we assume without any additional identification belongs to Coryn, says, "Well, that's because she's drunk." Someone who sounds like Bre says that Lisa has a lot of issues, and Man-Voice replies, "Well, she's a cracked-out bitch. She was drunk last night. She started drinking today at 2 PM. She was drunk all day, and she's been drunk all night. It's not okay to be drunk all day and night. Like, are you kidding?" Oooh, it's so much like Omarosa and Janice that it's making me uncomfortable. Bre, who we learn today is actually pretty nice, runs out to check on Lisa and interviews that Lisa's drinking is becoming heavier, and that she's becoming a lot more dependent. Bre says that Lisa needs a crutch to help her through what they're all going through every day. She and (I think) Kyle go out and bring Lisa inside. Lisa talks on the phone to her boyfriend. She tells him that it's hard to keep it together. He tells her that it's okay, and she says that she might be too sensitive for this show. Bre interviews that although Lisa is a confident person, all of the stress and criticism are starting to eat away at her. Lisa cries. Bre says she knows for a fact that none of the girls has been under so much stress and anxiety as they all are now, on the show. Meanwhile, Lisa starts to hyperventilate on the phone. Or maybe it's dry heaves. Her boyfriend tells her to take a deep breath and hold it, because she's breathing all crazy. Bre comes in with a roll of toilet paper and says very seriously and calmly, "Lisa, you need to focus. Come on now. Pull it together." I appreciate her combination of support and practicality. Lisa dabs at her eyes with some toilet paper as we fade to commercial.

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America's Next Top Model

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