America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Loves Bubbles And Talks To Plants

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Coryn's Got A Secret

Kyle overacts terribly in her commercial, and her secret is that she loves to sing and dance in front of the mirror. Twiggy mocks her. Bill says that, in a real environment, they would have pulled her back a bit. Her interview gets kudos from Tyra, but her photo doesn't wow the judges, with the exception of The Twig, who thinks it's beautiful.

Bre is next. Her secret is that she loves men's underwear. The judges love it. Miss J. asks, "Boxers or briefs?" and she says, "Briefs, baby." The judges also like her interview, even though she mentions something about stains. Ew. Her photo, however, does not get raves. It is pretty average.

Kim is next, and has the posture of a simian in her commercial. Her secret is, "I walk and talk tough, but I scream...like a girl." She laughs at her own secret. Miss J. calls out her posture, and Nigel says that Kim is an anomaly because she's so wrong, but somehow it works. He tells her that she has a special thing and shouldn't lose it. "You are so wrong" is the new "I love you." Kim gives a fake anecdote in her interview that Tyra loves. Twiggy loves the photo, and Tyra tells her that they had to airbrush her arm fat.

Lisa approaches the panel in a sequined headband featuring a yellow feather. Nigel asks what's up with her outfit, and she says she felt playful, and like a bubble. Drunk again. Tyra says it's so wrong it's right, because we're in the middle of the opposite sketch. Lisa's commercial makes Tyra tear up. Nigel thinks it's the best so far, and Bill says that Lisa showed the most raw, natural talent. Lisa is pleased. She also commands the interview and the judges love it, as well as her photo. Coryn is displeased. Nigel gives her a ten out of ten.

Next we have Nik, who admits to being nervous. Miss J. notes how uncomfortable she looked in her commercial. She says that talking into a camera is a weak spot for her. In her interview, she says she has bad BO, which Tyra likes but Twiggy thinks is too much information. Oh, those Brits! Her photo is gorgeous, though. Tyra says that Nik had the weakest film of the bunch. Jayla smirks. Nik says, not to make excuses, but her excuse is that she felt hurt and betrayed during the shoot. The judges ask for details, but Nik won't spill. Nigel says that she's a fortress. Commercials, where we learn that Nik was Cover Girl of the Week.

We return to the judges' deliberation. Nigel is not convinced about Jayla, but Tyra says that her face is magical in her photo. Nigel makes a weird cross-eyed face. You, sir, are no Janice Dickinson. Janice would have been all, "She looks like Sandy Duncan. Who is going to hire a model with a glass eye?" Oh, I miss her so. Nigel says that it hasn't been a good week for Nik. Miss J. says that he doesn't see "model." The guest judge says that she's not beautiful, but she's sexy. I think that Nik is really beautiful, but I can see how that's debatable. Nigel loves Nicole, but Miss J. thinks she's bland in person. Twiggy thinks Kyle is lovely but ordinary. Nigel says there's something about Kim that leaves the viewer wanting more. Twiggy thinks Coryn looks great in her picture. The guest judge says he likes Coryn because she's sad, but Nigel argues by asking him when was the last time he booked someone because he felt sorry for them. He has a point. Coryn's picture does look pretty, too. I feel a little mean about Coryn because I really vowed not to make any more she-nis jokes this season, but then there were all those rumors about how she was a man and I just couldn't take it. Just when I was out, the she-nis pulled me back in! But seriously, I think she's lovely if a bit inarticulate and perhaps possessing some sort of a testosterone imbalance. Or, a really, really striking man, which is okay, too. Bre's cuteness doesn't translate into model-worthy photographs. Miss J. was impressed by Lisa. Nigel sums up the feelings of a nation by saying, "There's something about this girl that leaves you wanting more. However, I also can't stand Lisa."

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America's Next Top Model

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