America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Loves Bubbles And Talks To Plants

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Coryn's Got A Secret

When we return, there is Tyra Mail. Someone is going to get cut. Coryn says she's very nervous, because she knows she did poorly with the commercial. Nik says that she'd be crushed if she had to go home. Psycho Jayla says that there's one person in the house she "severely severely dislikes on the borderline of hate," and that's Nik. She hopes that Nik continues with her one stupid facial expression and keeps on with her "I have no personality and I'm a nice girl" attitude at Panel, and that the judges will think she sucks. So you hope she gets eliminated? That's original. I wish Jayla would just own it and be like, "Yeah, I stole it. If you can't take that shit, get off the pot." But instead the bubbles are owning her, and she acts like someone caught her shoplifting from Hot Topic. Again.

Panel! Prizes, judges. J. Alexander is looking raggedy. Bill Heuberger, the commercial director, is the guest judge. No Iman? Perhaps she had a Caracan banana allergy that prevented her from coming. The girls are going to be judged on the commercial-photo-interview combo. Nicole is first. Nigel loves her speaking voice, and says that he sees a diamond in the rough. She "um"s a lot in her interview, which Tyra calls out. Her photo is amazing. Tyra lets everyone know that the girl who has the best photo will have her shot run as an ad in this week's issue of People. Does anyone have proof that this actually occurred? ["I just grabbed the latest issue from the bathroom -- because, um, I am not just classy enough to subscribe to People, but classy enough to keep it in the can -- and the winner's photo did appear in the October 31 issue (with Jennifer Aniston on the cover, not that that narrows it down much." -- Wing Chun]

Jayla, with her controversial secret, is next. In her interview, she says that Secret is the first deodorant she's used that actually prevents her from sweating. I know another sweaty bastard when I see one, and so I call bullshit. Twiggy commends her use of the brand name. The judges, with the exception of Nigel, love her photo, despite the fact that she looks totally cross-eyed. Nigel says there's something about the face that isn't connecting for him, and that he doesn't believe in her enough, or feel one way or the other. Nik remains impassive.

Next is Coryn, whom the guest judge calls sad. And she is. After watching her interview, Nigel patronizes, "Have you ever seen an interview with a famous person or a star or celebrity with that sort of melancholy? No." The judges agree that she nailed her photo, though.

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America's Next Top Model




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