America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
High Flying, Unadored

Elsewhere, Ambreal sings a song about how she thinks of our caressing in times when she's stressing. We're right there for her. Awww, I didn't know she cared! Ambreal says that she's a musical theater major at Howard and goes around singing all the time. I'm sure that's not annoying at all. Ambreal feels confident, because she's high up on the list of top models and knows that it's her time to shine. I feel like a thunderclap could be edited in here, just so there's no question of the impending doom.

Lisa, on the other hand, talks about how she overthinks everything. Saleisha, always eager to interject a helpful annoyance, adds that that will take over the photo shoot. Lisa tells us that she thought about it all when she entered the competition, but she is so focused on fixing her problem areas that she's making it worse. It's called choking, babe. Sarah tells us that Lisa is insecure and her Debbie Downer-ish-ness is kind of annoying. Couldn't you totally see it: "Hey, Lisa, you're really squinting. Do you need to get the prescription for your glasses updated?" "Nope -- the syphilis I contracted in foster care must finally be taking hold!" Wah wah wah.

Tyra Mail! "It's time to respect your clocks! Spring forward, fall back." Maybe they're going to have a bounce-off for the love of Flava Flav? Chantal actually asks if it's "that time." Yes, you're all going to go on a field trip to the bank to open Daylight Savings Accounts. Sigh.

The girls enter a gymnastics center, where Benny Ninja awaits them. He says he hopes the girls remember him from the Old Navy challenge. That happened, like, ten minutes ago. Today, Benny is going to teach the girls how to pose with movement, for those times when a photographer might want them to jump. So he's going to instruct them how to convey emotion while they're in the air. He says it's very simple, and bounces on a trampoline saying, "Hit a look!" repeatedly. How about, "Hit the posing consultant!" The goodwill left over from the Paris Is Burning House of Ninja is starting to wane.

Janet gives the trampoline a shot first and talks about how much she would hate to go home. Well, get ready to hate your life then, my elfin friend. She has a hard time getting into posing while bouncing. Sarah is next, followed by Bianca. Benny tells Bianca to think outside the box, and she totally falls ass-down on the trampoline. He says, "That's the end of the box." If she had been turned 75 degrees to the right, it really would have been the end of the box. Trampolines are dangerous! As evidence, Jenah falls right off, and Ebony does, like, three face-plants. Saleisha tells us that Ebony is so crazy and she loves her. Why is she always such a stooge at panel, then? Chantal is great on the trampoline -- I bet she's a cheerleader. Heather...well, as she says, she's not a physical person. She is the anti-Chantal in all ways. And at times, she kind of looks like she crawled out of her delightful coffin-slumber to be at these challenges. What? She's really pale! Ambreal, meanwhile, is amaaaaazing. She's had some dance classes in the past, which she acknowledges help in this situation. Lisa plain old sucks. Chantal conjectures that she's not really trying. Benny says that she held off a lot, and needs more confidence in herself. An out-of-breath Benny gives the girls a few words of encouragement and bounces off.

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America's Next Top Model




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