America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Is A True Miss Diva

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Somebody Does, In Fact, Put Wendy in the Corner

Back in the hallway, Jade quite hilariously lashes out on the other girls. She tells Furonda that she looks ridiculous with the "crown" on her head. Furonda starts to make a comment about Jade being in her underwear, but stops short. Jade, however, takes the bait and says, "Of course I'm in my panties, and I look damn good. Broke-ass crown. They ain't even real diamonds." Apparently Jade's delusion applies not only to herself, but to the actual whole world. Next she'll be like, "Out of cotton balls with which to apply my oil-reducing astringent? Perhaps I'll just pull down a bit of cloud to use." Furonda and Mollie Sue start laughing again, which is, of course, a genius strategy. When she comes out of the phone room, Wendy tells Jade not to take out her attitude on other people. Jade shushes her and says, "Goodbye, J. Lo," as Furonda continues to laugh. Commercials.

It's "My Life As a Cover Girl." Nicole is thrilled to get a televised message from Queen Latifah, with whom she's apparently on first-name basis. If, in fact, Queen Latifah's first name is indeed "Queen." She actually says, "What's great about Queen is that she can do so many things." Yet she still can't find the way out of her own closet. Recognize!

In other news, if the gorgeous and amazing Kathleen Edwards comes to your town on her tour, go see her! (Though probably not on the Bryan Adams dates. I don't know what that's about. Bitch-ass Canadians. ["Hey, I bailed out after Reckless. Blame Kevin Costner for prolonging his career by doing that Robin Hood song." -- Wing Chun])

Back at the Black Dahlia Inn, the girls talk about how awful Jade is, while Jade tells her mother how awful the girls are. Where's Nnenna when you need her? Sara says that, at first, she thought Furonda's rules were stupid, but that you can just "stick them." Whereas if you tried to stick Jade, people would always ask you, "Why does your ass do so much complaining? And why does it want me to recognize it?"

Tyra Mail! "Don't blow your cover." Furonda says that she needs another chance to prove herself. Despite her uncanny resemblance to Flava Flav, Furonda has really risen in my esteem in this episode.

The girls walk into a giant warehouse filled with blocks of ice. They instantly start shivering and coughing. Maybe they're exposing the girls to typhoid fever just for the hell of it. Yay! Jay Manuel stands in front of a snowy, icy scene. He tells the girls that they'll be posing on a set made entirely of ice. And, quite randomly, that their shot will be made to look like a magazine cover. Richard Reinsdorf is the photographer. He tells the girls to imagine that they're somewhere warm. This is totally like the episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby and Greg get locked in Sam's meat freezer. Good times. Danielle tells us that it's hella cold, and that she's shaking like a little gap-toothed Chihuahua. The girls get made up like ice princesses. Scantily clad ice princesses, that is.

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America's Next Top Model




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