America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Impresses Pedro

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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The Girl Who's Not No Fucking Lesbo

Jael is next, and Tyra says she doesn't look faint-y enough. Instead, she looks like she's posing. Nigel says that Jael is naturally kind of robotic, and that she needs to loosen up. Jael goes into a long, nonsensical explanation about the direction Jay was giving her, and Twiggy actually looks down the judging panel and kind of smirks. Twiggy can't wait to get Jael the hell out of there.

Finally, there is Renee. She looks INSANE. She's wearing this unflattering brown baby doll dress with cowboy boots and huge hair. Twiggy says that, in her photo, Renee looks like she's in pain, but is still pretty. Renee notes that at Panel last time, they told her to ugly it up a little. Tyra tells her to not make it quite so ugly. Tough talk from someone who was born in the wagon of a traveling show. Nigel says that Renee's hair and makeup is too much and makes her look older. Twiggy agrees that her hair is too poufy.

The judges deliberate. Dionne is "jumping up leaps and bounds," according to Twiggy. Nigel thinks she looks amazing to a man or a woman, which is the secret of being a model. Matthew thinks she's amazing, too. Twiggy loves Renee and thinks she has something rather special. Ms. J. says the only problem he has with her is that it doesn't take much to make her look older. Whitney has a great personality and is a clever girl, according to Twiggy, but she's just not a model. Tyra says that she's one of those girls who is beautiful in person, but loses it in front of a camera. Matthew says that Jaslene is pure drag. Twiggy says that Jael makes her crazy when she opens her mouth, and Ms. J. does an impression. Twiggy doesn't think she could get through a casting unless she didn't have to speak. Matthew says that she is a little robotic, but that there's something about her. Nigel is impressed with how Natasha has progressed. Twiggy thinks that she's gorgeous, sexy, and very special. Ms. J. thinks that her presence is a bit packaged. Brittany stands out, according to Nigel, which is the kind of quality a top model has.

The girls return. One-seventh of them is going home. But you know who's not? Dionne! She's called first, followed by Natasha, Brittany, Renee, and Jaslene. This, of course, leaves Jael and Whitney in the bottom two. Each of them has what the other needs. Whitney needs to shine in pictures, not just in person. And Jael needs to learn to talk good so she can go on Tyra's daytime show and eloquently express her sob story. And so, Jael gets a picture. Tyra asks her to say something profound and clear and eloquent so that the judges behind her can see that she's not a moron. And Jael says, "I will definitely prove myself to be all that you believe I am." She is such a goner.

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America's Next Top Model

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