America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Graduates

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1 USERS: A+
Stay In School, Bitches

Then there is Amanda. Dita says that she did a great job and had a great combination of sexiness and sweetness. She was like the chocolate covered pretzel of this challenge. And then there is CariDee, who is pure stripper. Dita notes that she could take it down a little bit. Brooke says quite awesomely, "She had on a skirt, and she was up there with her legs spread apart, and I was like, 'Girl, I can see your PANTIES.'" I usually hate the word "panties," but in that context it was pretty great. And then there is Brooke herself, who feels totally uncomfortable with her fan. Dita says that Brooke had a difficult time, and seemed the most nervous of everyone to be sexy. Well, I mean, she's pure as the driven snow.

Sutan tells the girls that on their next shoot, they might want to think about how sexy they can be. Dita tells them to walk out there like they mean it, and feel like they're the best at what they're doing. Have confidence, and don't second guess yourself, she says. Dita was pretty awesome, I have to say.

Back at home, Jaeda is still complaining about the fucking hair. Shut up, man, and just deal with it. She says that she wasn't even having fun with the sexy stuff, because hair is important to a girl. She says that she's had long hair all of her life, and that it gave her part of her personality. I bet people all over the world would say things like, "That Jaeda, she's just so...hairy." Eugena interviews that it's hair, and that Jaeda looks ten times better without it. She reiterates that she's sick of dealing with stupid bitches. I feel you, man. For reals. Commercials.

Tyra Mail! "My mama taught me to keep my elbows off the table. But she didn't say anything about feet." Please don't let it be a heart-to-heart with Tyra's mother, please don't let it be a heart-to-heart with Tyra's mother, please don't let it be a heart-to-heart with Tyra's mother.

Blessedly, it is not. The girls travel to a house where they meet Cathy Gould, director of Elite Model Management. With her is supermodel Kylie Bax who looks...old. I don't know. Kylie is apparently one of Elite's top models. I did a Google image search for Kylie Bax, and found a whole lot of boobs. She's no Kylie Minogue, that's for sure. In any case, Cathy tells them that tonight she's throwing a private party. And guess who's on the menu? The girls. I thought at first that they were going to be live naked women sushi platters, which is gross, but that is actually not the case. They are going to have to walk down a dinner table runway. Hey, that can't be very sanitary either.

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America's Next Top Model




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