America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Goes To Texas

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Yellow Hos Of Texas

The girls arrive at some fancy estate-looking place, where they encounter Miss J. on a tightrope, wearing a tutu. That is just baiting someone into calling him Twinkle Toes. Cue to a Miss J. montage like they do every season, complete with Brooke's commentary that Miss J. is too fabulous and is also a royal mess. Brooke says that Miss J. also always has something up her (or his, you decide) sleeve for the girls. Unfortunately, it is usually not an icepick delivered to their skulls with force. Caridee quickly interviews that her first thought upon seeing Miss J. on the tightrope was that Caridee herself was not getting up there. Miss J. walks and chants the mantra, "Posture, balance. Balance, posture." Except with his enunciation, it comes out as "Pasta balance." Mmm, I'm hungry. Miss J. walks the tightrope to great applause from the girls, and then introduces them to "the masters of the wire," Richard and Alex. Richard and Alex are going to set the girls up to walk the rope, which will help them be able to walk anything else.

Caridee is first. She interviews that she can't walk a straight line when she's dead sober, so how the hell is she going to walk a half-inch rope? She falls into either Richard's or Alex's arms, which they totally love, and is kind of charming about it. Caridee, despite her complete lack of knowledge on how to style her hair, is pretty hot. She says that, right now, she's not thinking about being on top (which I guess gives us one answer to the ubiquitous theme song's question), but just wants to make it to the next round.

Then we get Anchal, Megg, and a focused-looking A.J. Richard/Alex says that they should be able to see something on the outside. A.J. asks, "Like what?" and Richard/Alex says, "Like you're having fun." Honey, A.J. hasn't had fun once in her life, and certainly isn't going to start now. Richard/Alex adds, "No whining in modeling," and A.J. whines in response.

Eugena is next, and interviews that, last week at the eliminations, Tyra told her to show her emotions. We flash to Panel, at which Tyra basically just says that Eugena has a lot of bad photos. Revisionist history! I'm not surprised.

Amanda tells us that she and her sister have always had problems with their feet. Michelle is apparently really flat-footed, and perhaps pigeon-toed. Good times.

Then there is Eugena, and then Brooke, who seems rather comfortable. Something tells me that Brooke might have had a shitload of gymnastics lessons, or at least had a lot of "Get in Shape, Girl" accessories in her youth.

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America's Next Top Model

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