America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Gets Pwn'd

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Things that Make You Go Pwn

Meanwhile, Yvonne is still stewing, and Kiara quite sensibly tells her that Bryanboy will probably tell the judges what happened. She advises Yvonne to put on a smile, and also talk to Bryanboy. To her credit, Yvonne realizes that she has a hot temper and can be an asshole, and also doesn't want anyone to think that she's super mean, even though she totally is. She actually cries as she approaches Bryanboy, and tells him that she didn't mean to insult anyone. Bryanboy seems cool with this quasi-apology, though tells her that in this context she might be judged by her photo, but in the real world she'll be judged overall. And nobody likes stankness wafting up from a pretty girl!

Back at the house, there are lots of nerves. Kristin is worried that she didn't get a good photo, while Yvonne is concerned that she overdid it with the attitude. As they discuss, Kristin agrees with Yvonne that Bryanboy is a brat to everyone, and Yvonne points out that he never even spoke to her until today. Victoria, meanwhile, is under the impression that Johnny wasn't thrilled with her photo shoot. She feels sick and anxious, and says that without a good photograph she'll be out of the competition. If that is ever true, I will certainly vote for her 1,000,000 times in whatever forum is most effective.

With that, it's panel time. There are prizes, there are judges. Bryanboy is wearing a belle chapeau, and kind of looks like the "Ascot Gavotte" scene from My Fair Lady mixed with Friedrich from The Sound of Music. I guess that's his signature look? Kiara is up first, and Kelly says that her face is really stuck and isn't giving any energy. She also says that Kiara looks like a 32-year-old woman and not a 20-year-old model. Raise your hand if you think being called a 32-year-old woman is a riotous compliment. Rob and Tyra disagree, though, and say that Kiara looks like a fierce, tall lady. Bryanboy says that he personally is impressed by Kiara, but social media disagrees. They are not feeling her. Oh God, and then these jerks make Kiara read a viewer comment about herself, in which someone named Jessica says that she looks like a man with makeup. Maybe this whole season is Tyra's exercise in feeling better about her own online comments? Everybody is mean to everybody, we know. Kelly gives Kiara a 6, while Rob gives her a 7 and Tyra gives her an 8.

Next is Victoria. I think her photo is basically fine, but Tyra says that, in comparison with earlier photos, Victoria is not the same girl, and can do a lot better. Kelly disagrees somewhat, saying that it's a usable photo even though it may not be the best photo. Rob thinks that the whole thing is too safe, and Bryanboy delivers the sad news that Victoria's social media scores are going down. This is because voters hadn't yet had a chance to see her calisthenics routine, I am certain! Tyra asks Victoria to address her critics, and then it all gets a little sad and desperate. However, Kelly says that Victoria has done an excellent job taking criticism, which shows that she has the ability to grow. She gives Victoria an 8, while Rob gives her a 6 and Tyra gives her a 7.

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America's Next Top Model

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