America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Freaks Out on Horseback

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War Horse

And then it would appear is if a little bit of Victoria's spirit got lifted in the wind and blown into Laura's pores (maybe that's what the blotchy chest was all about?), because she calls her mom and starts having a wee breakdown. Laura cries as her mom tells her to calm down because the whole thing is almost finished. She misses her mom a lot, and says that every time they talk her mom sounds like she's trying to be happy, but in reality misses Laura a whole bunch. She does not mention country cooking, but I'm sure it's not far from her mind. Laura is looking forward to seeing her family, and also taking a nap. Her mother manages to creak out a few motivational words amidst her choked sobs (just kidding, she sounds totally fine), and says that Laura is doing her best, and is strong. Laura knows that she's losing it, and that she needs to take pains not to crack one week before the end. After all, no one wants to be the new Victoria! Except for the Siamese ballet part.

For their challenge, the girls head to the equestrian center at the Half Moon Resort. This reminds Laura of home. She grew up riding horses, and notes that her family has "all this acres" and stables and ponds and a little riding area. Cut to Kiara, who says, "We have acres? You have a pond? Do YOU have a pond? I don't have a pond." I must admit that I do not have a pond either. Having all that land is okay if you're a poor farmer just trying to eke out a living with your sustainable kale crop, but if you're the child of a soap opera actor living off of 1980s residuals, the rest of us are allowed to baldly resent you.

Rob is there, and he introduces the girls to Yendi Phillips, former Miss Jamaica Universe. She is representing the Jamaica Tourist Board, which is sponsoring this challenge. The girls will have the opportunity to be in a commercial advertising Jamaica as a vacation destination. They'll have to write their own scripts, including about fifteen seconds of dialogue. Then they'll have to do a screen test on the beach, and deliver their lines while on horseback, in the ocean. What if a dolphin bangs both a model AND a horse? That is illegal in at least 13 states, yet still manages to claim a corner of the fetish porn market. The girls get only thirty minutes to write their scripts before heading over to climb atop their new equine friends. Leila tells us that she's not scared of horses, but then again she wasn't scared of dolphins before one almost bit off her whole entire leg. As she says that horses are big strong creatures that can take you out, she swallows awfully hard. I'm sure that will just make the horses even more nervous! Horses hate saliva! The model with the best overall script and delivery will get to shoot a worldwide commercial campaign for the Jamaica Tourist Board, and also get $10,000 in the scholarship bank.

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America's Next Top Model

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