America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Forgot Her Shoes

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Don't You Mean, "The Girl Whose Thighs Were Twenty-Nine Inches Around"?

Meanwhile, Cassie has no friends. She talks to her mom on the phone and interviews that she found out that her uncle is really sick, which is making her question whether she should be there. Her mom says something about her uncle doing better and being on antibiotics. You know that he has, like, a sinus infection, and Cassie's all, "Family emergency! I have to go!" Her mom tells Cassie to give it all she's got, so that she doesn't have any regrets. Cassie interviews that she doesn't want to be there, but doesn't want to be known as the girl who quits. So much better to be known as the bulimic head case.

Tyra Mail! Yaya announces it and drags the others out of the hot tub, calling them nasty asses. As Ann comes running out with a bikini top in hand (not hers, sadly) Yaya says to her, "Ew ew ew, go stay over there please." Mind your manners, there, Rudy Huxtable. "From week to week, the stress is getting worse and worse and tomorrow, you'll double over from all the strain." Yaya repeats, "You'll double over from all the strain..." trying to figure out what they'll be doing. Cassie, who is also clad in a towel though we never saw her in the hot tub (and, in fact, it's probably not wide enough to accommodate her hips), interviews that she is still going to give 100% in front of the camera.

Next day. The girls get to the photo shoot and, as Yaya says, "There's this dude waiting for us." It's actually Miss J., who is clad in a ten-year-old white kid's interpretation of macho hip-hop gear. He even has a tiny little band-aid on his forehead. Miss J. says that Jay Manuel will not be there today, so they have someone else to direct the shoot. And like so many viewers, I was too caught up in joy at this announcement to realize what was actually happening. The new person comes out and is obviously a drag queen. I was like, "Awesome! They're getting schooled by a drag queen." Cassie interviews that a woman walked out and she thought, "This is a really ugly woman." Then the drag queen opens her mouth, and it becomes apparent that it's The Dowager Jay. And again, like so many viewers', my hopes were dashed. I was seriously so disappointed at seeing Jay that I couldn't even speak. When the girls realize it's Jay, they squeal. Cassie says that she was "just like...gross. Because he looked like a woman, and that's not stuff you see every day in Oklahoma." Because Oklahoma hates the gays. Yes, we know.

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America's Next Top Model

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