America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Forgot Her Shoes

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Don't You Mean, "The Girl Whose Thighs Were Twenty-Nine Inches Around"?

Tyra Mail! You will meet with the judges tomorrow. Someone will be eliminated. Cassie says that you never know who's going to go (unless you're watching the episode, in which case you always know), but that it might be Toccara because she did poorly in her shoot. Toccara was disappointed with herself in the photo shoot. Norelle, who is mowing on some fast food, is nervous.

Judges' panel. Prizes. Judges. Once again there is no Empress Minnie, and the guest judge is Fucking Marc Bouwer (FMB). For the panel test, the girls have to pretend that they're going on a go-see to a fictitious fashion house, "The House of Je Ne Sais Quoi," and convince them that they are right to be the House's campaign girl. The judges get super-campy with French villain accents, and make the girls react to an ugly dress. Janice points out Yaya's pimples, and Yaya says that it's a menstrual breakout. Ew! I think it's better to just say that you're zitty. ["Well, it is Cycle 3, so a breakout should be expected." -- Wing Chun] The judges say that they all live together. Ann says that this is a little weird. Toccara says that, with her, the campaign will be larger than life (with which Janice snarkily agrees), and does a flamboyant and campy runway walk. Janice sneers and Tyra giggles. Ah, I can see where this is going.

Evaluations. The judges love Eva. Ann's photo is well-liked, and FMB thinks that she has lots of potential. Cassie was blah in her go-see test, and her photo was not strong. Her face is "too relaxed." Amanda's photo comes up, and the judges are completely silent. Ha! Nigel says that they know she can take great pictures, but that this one sucks. FMB says that Norelle needs to develop more confidence. The judges don't like her "secretary" look, but love the Amazon warrior. Nigel says that it's like Norelle has to be in costume to become fierce. The judges think that Yaya's regular look is weak, but love the ghostly Yaya. Nicole's photo is not good. Janice criticizes Toccara's runway walk for The House of Je Ne Sais Quoi. Janice hates Toccara. Tyra loves her. She thinks that Toccara can handle the crazy fools in the fashion industry, and that she's fantabulous. Janice hates Toccara's photo and says that it's not versatile enough to be Top Model. She is more bitchy tonight than she is funny. Nolé thinks that she needs more in the eyes. Tyra and Nolé like Toccara's glamour shot.

The judges deliberate. Janice is pulling for Yaya. Nolé thinks that half of her photo was good. FMB says that he's seen the start of many great models, and that Ann has what it takes. I love how the judges have hated her for six consecutive weeks, and now suddenly she has the potential to be a great model. Phashion is so phickle. (Sorry, I just can't seem to let it go.) The others agree that Ann's photo is very good. Nicole was so-so, and Tyra says that she doesn't know anything about her. Nicole is this season's "unmemorable" one. This was Amanda's worst picture. FMB says that if she builds a strong editorial book, Amanda can definitely have a successful career in fashion. Nolé says that Norelle has grown on him. Janice thinks her walk belongs in a circus. Tyra says that Norelle is progressing, but at too slow a pace. Nigel loves Eva this week. Janice says, "She's still short," and Nigel snarks, "Perhaps she'll grow by next week." HA! Finally, a point for Nigel.

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America's Next Top Model

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