America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Flops In The Mud

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 3 USERS: A+
The Kloof Will Set You Free

Previously: The girls learned that they were going to South Africa. Much screaming and jiggling ensued. Christina tried to warm up her chilly personality by posing as an ostrich, while Keenyah packed on the pounds and was stereotyped in an elephant getup. In the end, Michelle couldn't handle the stress and was finally sent packing just as everyone was getting tired of she-nis jokes. Five girls remain! Who will be the next to go?

African music and scenes of wild animals, lovely beaches, and exotic villages welcome us to Cape Town, South Africa. Naima and Brittany discuss how great it is to be in South Africa, and in the top five. Suddenly, in comes Tyra pushing a room-service cart. "I bring food! I bring food!" she says. This is followed by an off-camera opening of the lid and Tyra yelling, "I ate all the food! I ate all the food! Can someone get these bitches some damn more food?" She is outfitted in a silky green bathrobe over black pants, because one of the main perks about being a Victoria's Secret model is that you get to keep all of the ugly clothes. Tyra jumps on Kahlen's bed to wake her up. The girls eat and Tyra asks them how it feels to be in the final five. Keenyah says that having everyone comment on how her physique most closely resembles that of Louie Anderson was a wake-up call for her. Tyra says that she's struggled through the same thing. Oh really? I hadn't noticed. Keenyah says that she's "bringing it" now. Well if "it" is fifteen extra pounds, I concur. Tyra asks if the girls feel like they have changed throughout the contest. I know I, for one, feel much, much dumber. ["Great smoky eye, though!" -- Wing Chun] Naima says that she feels completely different, and interviews that, growing up, she was a really angry kid, due in part to her parents' divorce. She got into the party scene for a long time, hit the bottle, and generally felt lost. We see photos of Naima with bright red hair to emphasize the undeniable craziness. Tyra says that trying to forget all that she has gone through is stifling Naima's personality and making her into a "shell of a person." As a contrast, Tyra is free with her emotions because she can't find a shell big enough. Naima says that she sometimes tends to be soft-spoken and meek because she doesn't want to relive her uncomfortable past.

Brittany says she's happy that the girls all get along and that none of them is backstabbing or conniving. Cut to Keenyah looking particularly conniving. Brittany tells Tyra that all of the girls really are friends. Oh, the sweet, sweet kiss of death. Kahlen -- whose rat weave is actually working for her today -- gives a little speech where she says that being around the other girls has been beneficial to her, since she's on the road to discovering who she is. She starts to tear up, or possibly Keenyah has spat hot sauce in her eye. Christina tells Tyra that she's trying to be more open to the judges so as not to appear so reserved and cold. She interviews that she's always been taught by her mother to be strong and confident, which may come off as icy. Tyra tells Christina to pretend the judges are sitting in their underwear. And really, it all kind of works until you get to Nolé Flambé (shudder). Keenyah says that Tyra would be beautiful in her underwear, so that's not going to help. Tyra laughs, because she loves it when someone says she's pretty. There is a group hug, and then Tyra leaves, running and twirling out the door crazily with her giant ass trailing behind.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

America's Next Top Model




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP