America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model

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We then flash back to the girls' photo shoots for Nylon, which is of course another part of the winner's prize package. Jimmy Fontaine is the photographer, and the girls sort of sass around in brightly colored dresses with hipster accessories. Laura tells us that she has been very insecure for her whole life, but finally has gotten to feel and know that her body is beautiful, and that she's beautiful. And I mean, come on. Who thinks, "You know, I really am horrid-looking. Maybe I should apply to be on America's Next Top Model"? J. Errico, who is the fashion director of Nylon, tells us that Laura was great. She's a little on the commercial side, but that's not a bad thing, since commercial work makes money. Kiara shoots next, and Laura tells us that Kiara did not deserve to win best photo for the Dream Come True shoot. Laura adds that Kiara has the same expression in every shot, which does not objectively seem to be the case. Kiara tells us that she's in this competition not only for herself, but for her grandma and brothers and sisters. She feels a lot of pressure, and says that her winning this competition would be one of the greatest things to happen to her entire family. Finally there's Leila, who lies on the ground, puts her legs up in the air, and forces the editors to blur her cooch. And then, perhaps not coincidentally, she's deemed the most Nylon. She also does a great job hanging from a tree like a little monkey.

And then the girls get a surprise that at this point is really a non-surprise -- visits from their families. Laura first sees her mom and dad, in all of their C-list celebrity glory. She starts crying and then her mom starts running toward her and screeching that she can stop working and that she looks so beautiful. Laura's mother sounds exactly like a squealing pig, I am sorry to say. Her dad is much calmer about the whole thing, because he's spent a lot of time on TV and isn't totally desperate to get back on it. Laura's mom hugs Laura while making outward expressions of her happiness and looking directly into the camera. You love her, WE GOT IT. And then Leila's mom shows up, and seems generally sweet and low-key and adorable. They hug and hug, and no one tries to get a fantastic camera shot. Leila is a head and a half taller than her mom, which makes the whole situation pretty cute. And then there's Kiara's grandma! She's the sweetest little lady, and Kiara is thrilled to see her. And doesn't all this really just serve to make you dream of the greatness that would have occurred if Victoria were a finalist and had gotten a family visit? It would have easily been one of the top five TV moments in all of history. And then they would have run off together to find the only Cracker Barrel in Jamaica and enjoy country cooking in one anothers' arms.

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America's Next Top Model

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