America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model

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Tyra then flashes us back to the finalists' Nine West shoot in Falmouth, Jamaica. Kelly is there with Johnny, and says that Nine West happens to be one of her most important clients. She tells them not to fuck it up, which sounds awfully familiar, and some postmodern thing happens involving the simulacra and negation of the real, and basically the world implodes and the White Witch pushes us all off of a balcony. Laura is first to shoot in a slinky colorblock dress, and she watches as photographer Jez Smith greets Kelly. They are all smiles. FOR NOW. Jez has Laura sit on a stoop so her face catches some natural light, but what she's doing isn't working. Kelly, who is literally hovering, tells Jez that Laura should be standing up. He points out that he's trying to make use of the light, and Kelly snaps back that this is her client and they're going to have to use the shot. Jez again mentions the light, and Kelly is like, "THEN WHY DON'T YOU LIGHT HER," and Jez is not thrilled. But eventually Laura stands, and Kelly continues to give near-constant direction.

Kelly tells Jez that she thinks all of the girls should be standing. He says that it would have been nice to know that six hours ago. She then says, "Well you should have talked to the producers about it, dude, I'm the talent on the show, don't be bitching at me about it." I mean, it doesn't seem like the producers are the ones who are insisting that Laura stand, thus taking her face out of the natural light. Poor Johnny is standing right in the middle of them, by the way. Jez retorts (in a really retorting tone, I might add) that he's not bitching at her, he's telling her what he thinks, and he's entitled to an opinion unless Kelly wants to take the photos herself. Kelly turns to Johnny and notes that Jez is being really rude, and Jez says, "Whatever," and then Kelly asks a producer named Jamie to ask Jez not to speak to her like that. Even though that's the way that she speaks to people all the time! Kelly says that she's really upset.

Also upset is Laura, who is getting a little shortchanged in terms of how many pictures anyone is actually taking of her while this bitchery is occurring. As Kelly and Jez hammer it out with some poor producer who is right now thinking that a free trip to Jamaica was not worth it, Laura is taken off set. Kelly tells us that Jez was threatened because she "made a suggestion" that threw him off his day. Nine West is her client, and she is their consultant, and she was right, and her shot was better. Well, at least according to Kelly. Kelly and Jez bitch to the producer for a while, and as she storms off Jez says he doesn't have this kind of drama at his shoots. Meanwhile, Laura notes that this whole thing is unfair to her, who only got five minutes to get a good shot. She cries and cries as we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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