America's Next Top Model

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The Cheese Stands Alone

Joslyn is next. She tells Tyra that she likes to pose kind of wide. Tyra Banks is not having it. She tells Joslyn that she gets a little stiff when she poses, and adds that she's stronger in profile than she is head-on. Thus, Joslyn's signature pose becomes "profile." Tyra tells us that there are all sorts of things you can do to be sexy from the side, such as waving your hands in the air like you just don't care. Then we have Elina. Poor Elina doesn't even get to choose her own signature pose. Before she can say anything Tyra tells her that she wants to be the "top model of the world." If Tyra weren't so straight-laced I would theorize that she's on drugs. Maybe her problem is that she needs some drugs. I mean, even a shot of Robitussin, you know? Elina's first ten shots look too catalogue, so Tyra tells her to make some shapes and exaggerate them. Elina is - surprise! - too controlled, and Tyra says that she hasn't yet realized that the magic will happen when she lets go.

Next is Marjorie. She has a clear vision for her signature pose: the hunchback of Notre Dame. Stick an accent aigu on it and call it a day. It's brilliant. Tyra yells out things like, "A hump on the back!" and "Beautiful spirit but nobody knows!" and "Bong! Bong! Bong!" Marjorie's back is a bit too hunched, and she's losing her neck. In her final ten frames, however, her hump is fiercer and fiercer. It's like the Hunchback himself is working the runway for Zac Posen. Tyra loves it. She says that Marjorie played into her weaknesses - her awkwardness and nerves - and wrapped it with a hunchy bow and made it beautiful.

Tyra reveals to the girls that this was a challenge, and that the winner and a friend will win some diamonds. I love how Tyra doesn't even bother to learn the names of her sponsors anymore. She gets down to business and announces Marjorie to be the winner. Marjorie picks Analeigh to share her prize, and Lauren Brie snarks that the two of them are like "the little couple of the house." But not with any action or I'm assuming we would have seen it. Tyra bids the girls adieu, and Marjorie and Analeigh head to Rafinity to pick out some jewels. Ann Mangini, the owner of Rafinity -- who should be glad she grew up before the term "mangina" was invented -- welcomes Marjorie and Analeigh and says that they each get to pick out one piece of gold and diamond jewelry. But not the $200,000 piece. Analeigh picks a big diamond peace sign to replace the big nickel peace sign she got from Claire's. Marjorie, always true to type, picks a diamond square. Too bad there wasn't a little diamond frowny face.

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America's Next Top Model

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