America's Next Top Model

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The Cheese Stands Alone
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on ANTM: Okay, this is hilarious. Tyra voices over, "Marjorie's lack of confidence hurt her in the challenge," despite the fact that Paulina totally made a big point out of the fact that Marjorie is not confidence-impaired, but rather European. Something tells me the rotating supermodel guest seat on the panel will have a new skinny ass in it next season. Clark finally got the boot in a 60's mod giant natural disaster themed shoot. Yeah, you heard me right. Eight bitches remain!

We enter the Top Model kitchen, where Sam makes pancakes and McKey makes salad. Sam mentions that her dad is super strict, and that children of parents who are super strict turn out frickin' crazy. Maybe this explains the hiking of the dress on the runway? Elina jumps in to say that her mom has controlled her her whole life, which is the genesis of all her control issues. She says that she wants to control everything because for such a long time she couldn't control anything. She's got her own mind. She wants to make her own decisions. When it has to do with her life, she wants to be the one in control. Elina interviews that her mom is very conservative and controlling and Russian. Elina moved to the U.S. from the Ukraine when she was 8. She wasn't allowed to express her emotions, because you just don't do that in Europe. Do we need to, like, send Oprah on some sort of European tour to get these emotionally dead people to get in touch with their feelings? Does Dr. Phil need to do group therapy with the whole continent? Elina says that her mom never let her do anything, and that during her whole life she's only ever had one friend. Okay, in all fairness that might not be her mom's fault entirely.

Lauren Brie, meanwhile, interviews with absolutely no expression that last week the judges told her to let her personality shine through. She's very confused, and is worried that she might go home. Sheena tells us that Lauren Brie is a very smart girl, but not a very exciting girl. Basically, Lauren Brie is doomed. We cut to the girls sunning themselves on the lawn, and get a close up of Elina's stomach tattoo which reads, "A voice for those who can't speak." Her oppressive Russian mother sure didn't stop her from getting all inked up, did she? Elina asks the others if they think Analeigh will be a successful international model. Lauren Brie doesn't think so. Elina doesn't either because, she says, Analeigh doesn't look like a model. Analeigh comes out and asks the others if they see her as competition. They pretend not to have heard her, and so Marjorie rephrases the question in a clearer manner. Analeigh tells Marjorie not to make them answer. She knows what's what, yo. Elina tells Analeigh that she's a very pretty girl, but doesn't look like a model. I guess she's giving a voice for those who can't speak other than behind peoples' backs. Analeigh sucks on a lollipop contemplatively. She confessionalizes that McKey and Elina have amazing faces, Marjorie is a natural model, and Lauren Brie can't take a bad picture. And then there's Maude. Analeigh is frustrated because she can't find her niche.

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America's Next Top Model

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