America's Next Top Model
Nikos Papadopoulos

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Work Your Salad

Jay then takes a moment to talk to Shannon. He reminds her that this is a huge opportunity, and he'd hate to see her miss out on it. Shannon assures him that she wants to win the competition badly. Jay notes that they made a concerted effort to choose an underwear set for her that looks like a swimsuit. She tells him that it has white piping, which means it actually looks like underwear. Jay is sick of Shannon and her semantic nonsense, while Angelea is just hoping that the bitch leaves and makes it easier for everyone else. Jay asks Shannon to help him understand her message, and she spouts several nonsense words ending in, "It's just kind of... different." She's not doing the shoot. Shannon says that it's important for you to stand up for what you believe in, because eventually you'll earn the respect of others. Everyone out there who respects Shannon for her stance on kalamata olives, raise your hand. Right.

Angelea is next, and says she's down. She's ready to work... her... salad. Jay prefers Angelea laying down, and says that she doesn't have the same poise sitting up. He adds that her core strength is weak, which I think means that she has an itty bitty muffin top and also can't properly hold herself upright. She finally hits a good pose and grabs the oil carafe. That's always the magic key, isn't it? Angelea is sure that she did a good job, and Jay offers a few words as she relaxes next to a giant block of feta. Can you imagine how these bitches smelled after this? Like so much feet. Meanwhile, Laura is laying down on the floor of the hair and makeup tent because she's very, very sick. As Dominique sympathizes but says that anything could send you home at this point, we head to commercials.

When we return, Jay instructs Allison to maintain the fluid, sexy movement of her video that made Game fall so in love with her. I imagine nothing is more appealing to him than a woman in a giant salad, so a ring should be forthcoming. Allison notes that the sun is a bit challenging for her eyes. It turns out that Allison has self-proclaimed "vampire vision" and can't even open her eyes in the bright, bright, sun. When she tries, there are tears. I guess it makes sense, as there is so much surface area there. Allison describes the feeling of entering the bowl as stepping into someone's organs. I mean, why not. Allison tries to get her positioning, and Jay recommends not putting a block of feta in between her legs. Yes, this actually happened. Nikos likes Allison's pale skin and blue eyes, and says that you can be more creative with this kind of girl. His maybe-racism clearly stems from childhood resentments against you-know-who. It's hard when your black adoptive brother gets his own theme song, and nobody even talks about you anymore. Jay encourages Allison to stay present, while from the sidelines Shannon laughs at the fact that everyone else is literally in a salad. In any case, despite Nikos's preferences, Allison assures us that she was horrible.

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America's Next Top Model

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