America's Next Top Model
Nikos Papadopoulos

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Work Your Salad

When we return, Shannon reiterates that she has a problem with posing in underwear in a salad bowl, or anywhere for that matter. Jay says, "We can talk about this," which is clearly a lie. I mean, all talking will consist of him trying to convince her to do it, while silently and correctly thinking that she's an idiot. Jay then introduces famed photographer Nikos Papadopoulos who, despite his impressive resume, is always outshone by his younger adoptive brother, Webster. Here he is, yet again trying to win George and Ma'am's approval by shooting models in a salad bowl. And all Webster has to do is be an adorable scamp! Nikos had no chance from the start.

The girls head back to hair and makeup and are given their lingerie, which several of them note is very bikini-like. Wardrobe stylist Georgina Wilson asks Shannon why she doesn't do underwear. She replies that she doesn't do underwear or cigarettes. Ew, could you imagine if they were asking these ladies to smoke in the salad bowl? Shannon interviews that she's married, and that she wants her husband and not the world to be the one to see her in lingerie. We cut to Georgina saying, "No offense, but it's easier to change the model than the prototype." Shannon just kind of looks at the ground. She has to know she's toast. It should be noted that the underwear do seem by and large to be more modest than the swimwear she's sported earlier in the season. Not that you, dear readers, need extra convincing that Shannon is an moron, but I just thought it was worth mentioning.

Buckets of tomatoes and cucumbers and the like are poured into the salad bowl, and Dominique is the first to enter. Jay says, "Now Dominique, remember you're gonna ... work... your... salad." This is the precise moment when this became my favorite Top Model episode in years. People: the models are posing in a giant bowl of salad. In underwear! I don't think anything more genius has happened in a generation. Dominique gets all sexual looking in the bowl, which is especially weird if you pretend it's a salad bowl of a regular size. Could you imagine if you got your salad course at a restaurant and there was a scantily clad lady wriggling about in it? Would you send it back or no? Just when you think things couldn't get any better, Dominique procures a carafe of olive oil and proceeds to pour it all over herself. Jay tells us that the masculine vibe that Dominique used to have is no longer there. She's found a way to harness it. Also, I think that having two kids would smooth out some of those manly edges. Jay tells Dominique that she was amazing.

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America's Next Top Model

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