America's Next Top Model
Nicholas Tse

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In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The models headed to Macau for their international tour of terror, and Queen Catherine was elegant, supreme and eliminated. Alisha was also in the bottom two for the umpteenth time, much to her chagrin. And now three British and two American bitches remain!

The B-roll for this episode begins with footage of some crazy person jumping off of a tall building, which we now know is a sign of deliciously traumatizing things to come! Just when you thought this show wouldn't know subtlety if it gave Tyra Banks a punch in the throat. The ladies return home from panel to see Laura's best-of-week silkworm photo displayed as digital art. This is Laura's second time receiving best photo, and while Sophie is happy for her and supportive, Laura thinks that Eboni and Alisha in particular are just waiting for her to fall. Well, after Laura flat out stated her dislike of Eboni, I can't be too upset if Eboni isn't happy on her behalf. Laura's best-of-week gift is just for her, which leads Eboni to wonder aloud if this is now becoming an individual competition. Newsflash, lady: it always was! Alisha tells us that Eboni is like a little sister to her, and she loves her. However, she thinks that Eboni needs to wake up. I mean, activate just ten brain cells and you'd have a radical improvement.

With only five girls left, Alisha tells us that things are getting intense and people, including herself, are getting catty. The first object of Alisha's cattiness is Laura, whom Alisha says is not her biggest competition. Unless it was an orgasm-having competition, in which Laura would absolutely be in contention. We rehash the enduring dislike between Laura and Eboni. Despite the fact that they had similarly rough backgrounds, Laura thinks that Eboni is a spoiled brat. As often happens, it's a little disappointing that the allegiances between the girls are so split along racial lines. Annaliese does seem to get along with everyone okay, thought that might be because the overpowering timbre of her voice wrangles them into submission. As Eboni recounts how far she's come in the competition and tells us that she and her pigtails are going to the top, we head to the ever-whack opening credits.

When we return, Alisha is talking about how much the bottom two doesn't scare her. She's been there three times! Who's scared? Not Alisha, that's for sure! It does make her sad, though, as evidenced by the sepia-toned falling tears in flashback. Alisha came in second on Cycle 6 of BNTM, and apparently was never in the bottom two. So, she didn't know what it felt like. Now, however, she knows. And it's annoying! It's pissing her off! But it doesn't SCARE her. Furthermore, Alisha says that she gives 200 percent at every photo shoot, and thinks that Sophie was the one who deserved to be in the bottom last time around. In the real world, says Alisha, she could take Sophie down as a model. But... wasn't she the one who told us that Sophie already has a contract with some sort of great agency? I mean, I love Alisha, but I think she's getting frustrated and desperate and a little crazy, which as we know is going to lead to great tragedy. Alas.

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America's Next Top Model

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