America's Next Top Model
Next Top Model: British Invasion, Part II

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Union Jacked Up
Now we are down to five, and Lisa thought it was time to see how committed the girls really are. But instead of a self-help Tyra Banks one-on-one weave-covered therapy couch, Lisa seems to be enjoying kind of a slumber party thing with each of the girls. See, that looks fun! She asks Jasmia who should win the competition, and Jasmia of course says herself. Good girl. Amber also thinks that she can be the winner if she keeps her game up. Lisa says to Abigail that the judges need to know how badly she wants this, and Abigail says she's willing to take anyone down to win. Lisa says the same thing to Sarah. When Sarah says she wants it, Lisa says that talk is cheap, and Sarah replies, "Talk is very cheap, but this ain't cheap. I am going to do it." When it's Lianna's turn, Lisa says that if Lianna wants to be a copper, she needs to tell her that she wants to be a copper. I thought it had already been established that Lianna wanted to be a copper? Apparently the other girls have mentioned to Lisa that Lianna might just dabble in modeling for a few years and then join the police force, and that bothers Lisa. Oh, you mean just like Lisa Snowdon dabbled in being Lisa "Snawdon" from birth to age 19? I THOUGHT SO! Lianna says that she sees herself as a model. She then interviews that for people to say that she doesn't deserve to be there because she has another career plan really bothers her. Me too! I hate that shit. Next, the girls had to do a photo shoot with a new car. This could lead to a national campaign with the car company down the road. Could, but probably won't. I mean, let's be honest. Sarah, wearing a Naomi Campbell wig, poses first with the car. PR manager Fiona Pargeter tells Lisa that Sarah looks too serious. Abigail then gets into the act and starts flinging around paint. At first, Fiona thought it was too cutesy, but in the end she determined that Abigail worked it. Abigail was made for that shit. Pouty Amber is jumping around like a lunatic, according to Fiona, and her legs are all over the place like a baby giraffe. Lianna is a purple mess. This poor car, man. It's been abused and misused. The girls then all get together to fling paint on the car. Lisa tells us that when you have five girls and five buckets of paint, accidents are bound to happen. I'd like to put that theory to the test. The accidents basically involved the girls getting paint all over each other. Abigail got paint in her eye and wondered if it was on purpose. Bitches! Lisa tells us that with the flying paint all but forgotten, the girls are in for a memorable night. She and the judges discuss. Lisa likes Abigail, but doesn't think she has what it takes to be at the top. However, Paula thinks she can cut it. Amber looks like a model in her picture but not when she walks into the room. Sarah looks like a drag queen in her photo, and Lianna looks like a bloke in a frock. None of those can be good. No one says anything about Jasmia, which I guess means that she's safe. Lisa tells the girls that the four girls who remain after this elimination will get to pack their bags, y'all, because they're going to... Morocco! Just like the ladies from AbFab! I hope they sell Lianna. Despite this prospect, all the girls are very excited. Lianna found herself in the final two along with Sarah. They both produced mediocre shots this week, but Lianna is where all the drama is, so she gets to stay. Sarah says that she wasn't being herself in the competition, and that she's not through with modeling and we're going to see her everywhere. Which, we totally already have, right? Commercials.

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America's Next Top Model




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