America's Next Top Model

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And then it's time for special guests! They are former contestants -- but not winners -- Bianca and Chantal from Cycle 9. Bianca has long hair and doesn't look at all like she just came from a beatdown with Tracy Turnblad. Chantal looks exactly the same. Miss J. tells us that Chantal and Bianca have mastered Miss J.'s charm school, and are going to show the others how it's done. The first lesson that they're exemplifying is that of catwalk respect. Which means, when another bitch walks by you, you don't trip her or give her the slightest nudge into the lap of Linday Lohan. You gracefully turn yourself so that she can pass. And then you stab her with your heel backstage. Chantal advises the girls to be natural and confident on the runway. Bianca advises against overthinking, because that makes you stiff and busted. Miss J. bids everyone adieu, and goes off to prepare his pop quiz.

Back at home, the girls play a game. London explains that they play a lot of games, and truth or dare seems to be the game of choice. Seriously, you guys, when you get the urge to play a little truth or dare, bust out the Yahtzee dice instead. It's a game of skill AND chance! And how sweet is it when you can get a good four-of-a-kind score? The dare that we see involves Kortnie putting her tongue up Sandra's nose. Unless she is fishing out the last vestiges of a coke-fueled evening, this doesn't seem like very realistic model behavior to me. Nijah is dared to do her best Carlton dance. She does, and the editors try to connect this to evidence of her much-touted (by herself) "personality." And then it's time for a truth. Lesbian dares aside, this is the most dangerous part of the game. Natalie gets the truth prompt, which asks who besides Jessica had the worst photo at last week's panel. Natalie thinks for a moment. Aminat yells out that she should be honest. Natalie replies that anyone who thought she was going to pass up this opportunity to be an asshole is sorely misguided. She looks around and says with certainty that Tahlia's photo was the worst. Tahlia is hurt, and her confidence is rocked. She gets up and leaves the room as the others give awkward looks and Natalie revels in ass-terglow. Tahlia and Nijah talk, and Tahlia admits that she doesn't know what she's doing. Nijah doesn't think that she should let a little bitchery get her down. Tahlia has no respect or fondness for Natalie now. I mean, in all fairness, Tahlia's picture did suck. She interviews that Natalie is selfish and inconsiderate. This will either enable her to win the competition, or she will fall hard on her face. Literally, when Tahlia grows a pair and smashes her head to the concrete.

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America's Next Top Model

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