America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Beautiful Disaster

Next up is Samantha, who is a tidal wave. She reminds us with her typical positivity that last week she was in the bottom two, but she's still here and about to rock a photo shoot. Jay loves the energy that Samantha brings to set, and says that she was both thoughtful and creative. Sam is excited to be at this stage of the competition, and says that you have to have fun and be competitive and be confident. And speaking of Marjorie, she's next and will be portraying a traffic jam. She's posing like a broken Barbie doll at first, which Jay says is not pretty. Her face really looks amazing though. Jay has to get up and move her into some different positions. He says he felt like a puppeteer, and it's not his job to get up on set and put a model into position so she gets a good shot. Since he brought up the topic...what is his job, anyway? At the end of the shoot, Jay tells Marjorie that she looked really good in the end, but he had to spoon-feed her to get there. Marjorie interviews that she felt like a fool, and then goes backstage and sulks. Sam tries to talk Marjorie up by saying that she has amazing pictures, but Marjorie's European armor of negativity deflects every compliment. She feels very deflated, she says, and adds that it's too bad she failed as we head to commercials.

When we return, Clark and Lauren Brie cuddle next to each other in bed and decide that they're probably not going home this week. Clark confessionalizes that she's number one in this competition, as evidenced by her totally permanent digital photo on the plasma screen. It's called an off button, and Clark is its next victim. Joslyn, however, is feeling nervous. She tells us that she started so high in the competition, but is slowly sinking to the bottom. Sam has confidence in herself and doesn't think that she's going home this week, but says that at the same time the judges are unpredictable and so you never know.

We enter panel with Tyra posing for her photo shoot as the natural disaster of tacky oversized sequins. First they blind you, then they cause you to catch on fire. Tyra welcomes the girls by ominously saying, "And then there were nine." And then she acts like a complete 'tard as she introduces the prizes and the judges. I guess she has to keep it fresh somehow now that the trannie has gotten the boot. Photographer Brian Edwards is the guest judge. Tyra apparently found him when she was hanging around Elite and discovered some "amazing" photos that he shot of Jaslene. I hope for his sake that he's not a permanent member of the Top Model fold. Two tons of ribs is no price to pay for your soul.

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America's Next Top Model




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