America's Next Top Model

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Beautiful Disaster

Sam cuts to the quick and asks Marjorie whether she even wants to be on America's Next Top Model. Marjorie gets all offended and weird and says that if she didn't want to be there she wouldn't be stressing about it so much. Yes she would. She probably stresses when her sandwich from Café La France has too much Dijon mustard on it. Marjorie tells the other girls that no matter how much she and Paulina explain the European negativity gene to them, it isn't processed. She didn't choose to be this way, she was born this way! Also, she just kind of called the other girls thick-headed. Which, point taken. Sam proves Marjorie correct by saying, "Where's your confidence, girl?" Marjorie's lack of confidence is getting on her nerves. Marjorie asks Sam if she's completely disregarding the point that she's making. Sam says she is, and Marjorie gets frustrated anew. Clark interviews that if Marjorie can pull her confidence together she can do better, but if you don't believe in yourself, how is anybody else going to believe in you? Wow, all of these confidence mantras really ARE annoying. Do we as a culture have Oprah to blame for this? I think maybe. Work on feeling bad about yourself as we head to commercials.

When we return, the girls head to a place called Siren City for their shoot, and they see a little mock city set. Suddenly the lights go off and a monster with dreadlocks emerges on the set. It's Jay. The girls freak out, but frankly I think it's nice to see him in something closer to his own skin tone. He explains to the girls that today they're going to be destructive giants. This is another shoot that Tyra concocted from her own experiences. The girls will pose on the tiny city set and will be replicating L.A. disasters. Which one gets to be Heather Locklear? Jay tells the girls that it's very important to "come through" in a photograph, and that they should be able to wear any amount of hair, wardrobe and makeup and still make an impact. Have I mentioned that he's still in his monster costume as he says this? Yeah. Sometimes I think that if aliens came to earth and happened to see this show they'd just go right back home and leave us unharmed. The photographer for the day is Brian Edwards. Back in hair and makeup, Christian Marc, who himself must be an awful negative Nelly, tells the girls that they'll be done up in mod 60's hair and fashion. Well, the 1960's were the age of destructive giants being implicated in natural disasters, so this makes total sense. I am actually insanely jealous of the hair, wardrobe and makeup in this shoot.

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America's Next Top Model

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