America's Next Top Model

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Beautiful Disaster

Paulina evaluates the girls. Analeigh did a fine job with her dress. Paulina claps at McKey's binder-clipping skills. Clark's outfit is a little too baggy for Paulina's taste, but Clark tells us that she's trying to appeal to the 60-year-old crowd. Joslyn and Lauren Brie both do okay. Sheena looks like she works at Home Depot. Elina, who seems to be managing her crazy hair pretty well, tucked in a shirt that should not be tucked, thus obscuring the whole point of it. Samantha made her outfit look totally different - her shorts are shorter in addition to her shirt being twisty at the top - and so anyone who ordered these clothes from Newport News would be pretty disappointed when they actually came in the mail. Sam interviews that this was more of a learning experience for her than a challenge. Okay, then. And then there's Marjorie. She didn't attempt to make her pants look good, and that was a mistake, says Paulina. Marjorie, as you might imagine, is mad at herself and starting to get a little nervous. Paulina begins to speak about who did the best job, but has to interrupt herself to note that Marjorie looks like she's about to throw up. She asks Marjorie if she's okay. The answer to that question is always no, I think. We cut to commercials.

When we return, Marjorie can't even answer Paulina's question of what is wrong with her. The other girls interject and say she's not always like this, and that it's just nerves. Joslyn narrates the whole thing for us as such: "Paulina just walks up to Marjorie. Marjorie just boo hoos all of a sudden and I'm like, 'did she pinch you?!? What happened!?!'" Giving Marjorie a fierce pinch would have been a total Janice Dickinson move. Can you even IMAGINE Marjorie with Janice? Marjorie finally explains to Paulina that she's out of her comfort zone, and as such has a rejection impulse. And then just when you expect her to tell a bitch to toughen up, Paulina actually says that she does the same thing too, and it's a form of self-protection. She thinks that everyone is going to reject her anyway, so she might as well beat them to the punch. Sheena jumps in to say that it comes down to self-esteem, but Pauina emphatically disagrees. She says it's a very socially acceptable way to be in Europe. So all those people looking snooty in berets in sidewalk café aren't judging you, but rather beating up on themselves? This opens up a whole new world!

Marjorie confessionalizes that Paulina explained this whole thing so well, and adds that the European mentality is not a positive one, particularly according to American terms. The Europeans totally don't want you to eat your Wheaties, but rather enjoy some dirt and ruins for breakfast. In any case, Marjorie really identifies with Paulina. Paulina tells Marjorie that the way that they were brought up doesn't quite cut it here, and gives her the stellar advice, "Fake it." Or to paraphrase Miss J., fake it till you make it or the judges won't take it. Now I understand why Paulina seems so off when she's trying to be enthusiastic about the various challenges on this show -- including this one -- in which she's forced to participate. American Girl Samantha feels no sympathy, and could care less what Europeans think. She says that Marjorie is a baby and has no choice but to come out of her shell. Welcome to America. Don't you feel like Samantha should always be carrying, like, a field hockey stick? And a can of Red Bull? And a sign that reads, "Psychiatric advice: 5 cents"?

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America's Next Top Model

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