America's Next Top Model

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Beautiful Disaster
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on ANTM: Samantha got all stripper-like at a challenge runway show, and designer Jeremy Scott became obsessed with her transgression. It proved a nice addition to his customary obsession with himself and his array of colorful vests. Hannah got the surprise mid-episode boot and no one gave even half a shit. Nigel shot the girls in the pool, but sadly not in the way where the water turns all creepy red and you have to call in Benson and Stabler. In the end, Isis was sent home, which was a relief inasmuch as it was getting kind of disheartening to see her being so sad all the time. Nine bitches remain!

It is night. The girls walk into their house and see Clark's best-of-the-week photo up on the plasma screen. She says it feels damn good, and tells us all about her meteoric rise to the top. She went balls to the wall, which actually meant going balls to balls with Nigel. Clark mockingly says to the other girls, "I don't know, it's kind of lonely being on top," which might be funny coming from someone who isn't such a wanker. Samantha, meanwhile, tells us how much it sucks to go from being called third to being in the bottom two. We relive her shaming at the hand of Jeremy Scott. Joslyn speaks for the rest of us when she tells Sam that it wasn't hoochie, she was just having fun. Sam interviews, "I'm not going to take it personal and just be total negative now." Jeremy Scott scared the adverbs right out of her, didn't he? Sam tells us that you always have to think positively. She's going to nail it, she's going to work on it, and practice makes perfect. Something tells me that Sam and I have a similar affinity for trying to beat everyone at everything. Seriously, try playing mini-golf with me or, God forbid, Cranium. It's a bad scene.

Meanwhile, Marjorie asks Analeigh if she thinks they're going to do badly tomorrow. Analeigh gets a weird look on her face. Or maybe that's just her face. I'm kind of leaning toward the latter. In any case, Analeigh says she doesn't just go around thinking negative thoughts. Marjorie asks why the fuck no one else is intimidated. She interviews that being around all these girls who spew positive mantras day after day is very foreign to her. She thinks it might be a cultural difference. Something tells me that Marjorie will be the next foreign exchange student to get a scholarship to T-Zone Camp! Marjorie says that she has potential, but tends to psych herself out. But, she says, it's not abnormal to be nervous in this competition. She makes her case to Analeigh for being nervous in front of the judges and people like them who are high-profile. In their own way. They've been everywhere and seen everything. And in Miss J.'s case, she does mean everything. Analeigh says this is when Marjorie needs to get it in her head that she's one of them. Wasn't Analeigh, like, crying last week because she sucked so hard and had no self-esteem? My how the wobbly three-legged tables have turned!

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America's Next Top Model

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