America's Next Top Model

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Hair Apparent

Dominique, meanwhile, is getting kinky red hair with matching eyebrows. She seems fine at first, but after the first stage of hair dying is complete, she is quite upset. Jay tells her that she has to stop trying to control things, and that being a top model in this business is not about being safe. Particularly if you're shooting with Terry Richardson. Taking a risk will make her pop, Jay tells her, and eventually she agrees. Once the extensions are put on and Dominique has a full-on mane, she likes her look. Jay calls her "Miss Mouth" and mimics smacking her, which is a gesture he must be really used to in this sixteenth cycle. He tells her to trust in those who know what they're doing. What this has to do with anyone who is involved with this show is unclear.

And then there's Molly. All she knows is that she's getting some kind of a blonde, curly weave. She says that she's never had big hair, and that her hair likes to lay flat and straight. However, she thinks she can work whatever she's given. Miss J. tells us that they brought in an outside weave specialist because to do this type of weave on Molly's type of hair would be difficult for anybody. Problem number one seems to lie in the fact that Molly's weave looks to be made of straight-up yellow yarn. There is some weave technique talk, and we learn that the weavologist has made a net with Molly's own hair, I guess with some string sewed into it, and that they will be going in a circle. Miss J. says he can't wait to see what happens. Soon enough, Molly realizes that there is some crunk shit happening on her head. She may be a white girl from the Midwest, but she knows that this is not what a weave should look like. She tells us that she doesn't want to be the one girl who gets the horrible-looking crazy hairstyle. Well, if this show has taught us one thing (besides how to smize), it's that we rarely get what we want. Go comb your own hair and be thankful as we head to commercials.

When we return, Molly confirms for us that the special weavologist butchered her hair, and it looks horrible. Apparently this fact was widely agreed upon, and everyone thought it looked ridiculous. Even Laurent D.! He runs his fingers through Molly's...hair?...and says, "It's coming from my salon...those extensions? What is that? Twisted Sister?" Laurent D. just nailed it. I have a Dolly Parton wig that I got for $19 on Amazon that looks more realistic than whatever that shit is on top of Molly's head. For one thing, it's straight up yellow. And it looks totally insane. Not even the poorest hooker would wear it. Maybe a poor hooker with dementia. But it just exudes whackness. Miss J. is in problem-solving mode, and says that they'll figure out how to style it so it looks decent for the photo, and then correct it afterwards. But not before torturing Molly with it all week! (Spoiler.)

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America's Next Top Model

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