America's Next Top Model

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Let's Dance

Tyra Mail! "top models always need 2 b in step. Luv, Tyra." Confusion reigns, per usual. The girls head in their giant limo to a studio of some sort, where they meet Mr. Jay. He asks the girls where they get their inspiration. As they shout out, "My child!" "My mom!" Mr. Jay reveals that these are not the answers that he's looking for. Who knew there were right and wrong answers to the question, "What inspires you?" Jay was really looking for where they go out to find inspiration to bring to the photo set. He likes going out to the theater and museums and the ballet. And, let's be honest, Manhunt. Today, the photo shoot is inspired by dance. This explains the random guy at the barre. Each girl will portray a different dance genre. Brenda tells us that she's a horrible dancer, except when drunk, when she's a slightly less horrifying dancer. Jay introduces the girls to Troy Powell, a.k.a. the random guy at the barre, an Alvin Ailey star and dance instructor. Each girl will get one on one time with Troy, who will teach them moves for their various genres. Cade Martin is the photographer for the day.

The girls head to hair and makeup and Troy-time. Anslee is assigned rhythmic dancing, and looks like a really fab "Get in Shape Girl" commercial. She's up first, and Jay says that he's looking to see the girls interpret the dance in a fashion shot, rather than do precise steps. Jay wants Anslee to do something in the air, and so she jumps. He tells her that this is the kind of photo where you'd say that Anslee is pretty, but just missed the model boat. Next up is Jessica, who is salsa dancing. She looks pretty stunning, but it's unclear whether her moves are translating into good poses. Then there's Angelea, whose genre is moshing. Finally, she gets to let her aggression out in a controlled context! Jay asks if it's all about anger for her, and Angelea says that it's about pain. That can become a little less hard, Jay says, and Angelea's photos improve. Tatianna is next in a crazy yet awesome tap outfit. Jay likes her energy at first, but it quickly drops. Not good!

Backstage, Alasia tells the manicurist that it's hard living with a bunch of females, but she's glad to be there so isn't complaining. Ren, however, is complaining. Though she does say that even though she can't stand what's going on in the house, she loves the photography, styling and makeup side of modeling. Does she like the modeling side of modeling? Unclear. Ren's genre is disco, and she has a pretty fab ensemble. She has one face, and about three poses. Jay tells us that he was convinced that Ren was a model when she came to the competition, but every week he becomes less inspired by her. After a while, he says, the judges will tire of her look and realize that her ability level is in fact subpar.

Alexandra is next, and has breakdancing as her genre. She tells us that she's not normally a breakdancer, but is channeling Run DMC. I like it. Her posing is great, and Jay says that she exemplifies how to use dance as inspiration. Raina's genre is jazz, and I personally think she looks a bit ghoulish. Jay seems to love what she's doing, though. Brenda really needs a good picture, and is trying to keep her energy positive despite dagger-eyes from evil Anslee. Brenda's dance genre is African, which just seems unfair. She's pretty stiff, and Jay tells her to keep her energy up. Brenda is concerned that she looks aged. Jay says that it's important to listen to the judges, but focusing on how haggard you look isn't helpful at this moment. She gets on a trampoline, and lacks the basic rhythmic skills to jump on the count of three. Anslee is gleeful about Brenda's disastrous shoot.

Krista is next, and is inspired by ballet. She looks like a crack whore in a tutu on a trampoline. It's crazy and great. Krista manages to make it work, and develops a whole new respect for ballerinas in the process. Alasia's genre is interpretive dance. She says that she's the youngest in the house, and isn't settling to be "just good." She acknowledges that she still has a lot of work to do. Simone's genre is hip hop. She's not surprised, since she figured each of the girls would be assigned something that is antithetical to their personalities. She has no idea what she's going to do, but looks pretty hot. Jay knows as she walks on set that she doesn't have any moves, but likes her initial carefree vibe. Once the camera starts snapping, though, she stiffens up and looks vacant. Jay asks her to do the running man. Bad call. But overall he asks her to be playful and sassy and have fun. She can't quite get there, and is really sad about disappointing him.

Finally there's Alasia, who is inspired by interpretive dance. To the surprise of everyone, she really turns it out. She tells us that Troy taught her how to put emotion into her body, and Jay exclaims that her shoot was gorgeous. She's thrilled, and that's a wrap!

The girls return to their house, and get the skull and crossbones Tyra Mail. Someone's getting eliminated. Ren tells the other girls that she misses her life. Raina asks Ren where she'd be, if she could be anywhere. Anslee replies for her: "In a bar, in Los Angeles." Ren tells us that this is the most hostile environment she's ever been put into. She doesn't think that people understand how hard it is. We lived through "Respeito," Ren. We know. Anslee points out with glee that Ren looks like she's going to cry. Ren tells the others to fuck themselves. Brenda tells us that she may not take the best pictures, but she'll be really mad if Ren stays over her, since Ren doesn't even want to be there. Tell it to Naduah as we head to commercials.

And hey! It's the CoverGirl Top Model Lounge! With past faves Bianca and Laura! Laura thinks that Ren should appreciate her hand-picked status, and says it's clear that she doesn't want it as bad as the other girls do. Bianca agrees, and says that the look is nothing without the drive. On to the next girl, because there's plenty more.

When we return we head to panel. And dear Lord. How exactly to describe Tyra's ensemble? Camel toe in space? It's a nude tapered-leg jumpsuit with Star Trek shoulders and a sheer, low-cut panel in front that exposes the center of her dowdy brassiere. There is only one word for this: dreckitude. There are prizes, there are judges. ALT is still rocking the giant judicial cloak. Sean Patterson, the president of Wilhelmina, is the guest judge.

Jessica is first for critique with her salsa photo. Nigel says that it looks real, and like Jessica can dance, but it needs more emotion. Tyra agrees that it's nice, but says she'd like to see more fashion in the pose. It's too "on the nose." And then it's time for another important life lesson from ALT: a pointed toe in an ankle-strap shoe is patently gauche. Sean Patterson says that to have ALT tell you that anything is patently gauche is actually kind of a cool thing. ALT seems unimpressed, except with himself. Next up is Raina, and Nigel thinks her jazz photo is very cool. Sean says that there's some athleticism to it as well. Tyra tells Raina that she had ten best shots, and this is just one of them. Raina is kind of a ringer. Anslee is next, portraying rhythmic dance. ALT does not like it, because she looks like an empty-souled waxwork. Not fashion. Sean says her face looks beautiful, but too conscious. She's another victim of being on the nose.

Simone and her hip hop shot are next. ALT says that it's good, and that her patently gauche pigeon-toed legs work this time. Tyra doesn't love it, because it doesn't have the movement and aggression of hip hop and stayed in a safe place. Simone admits that she can't hip-hop dance, because she's secretly a white girl. Tyra's okay with that, but reminds her that she can spaz out and it's okay. Sean likes what's going on in the top half of Tatianna's tap photo, but notes that the bottom half is not so flattering. Nigel loves the close-up. Tyra says that Tatianna's film is really bad, but she manages to lu

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America's Next Top Model




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