America's Next Top Model

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There is Tyra Mail! "Prepare to fare una buona impressione. Love, Tyra." The girls know that go-sees are in their immediate future. Chelsey dances around excitedly and says that go-sees are the one thing she really does know how to do. She's more confident since she's one of the more experienced girls, and notes that her lack of best-of-week photos makes it extra important for her to chalk up a challenge win. All of the girls sit on their beds and rearrange their portfolios. Ann tells us that she's worried about go-sees because, as a shy nerd, she gets very quiet in social situations. Hm, I wonder why we've heard nothing about this before! It seems like it would make a great recurring plot point.

The girls head to IMG Milano where they meet Tyra, who's sitting at a table wearing one of her beloved newsboy caps and her preferred suspenders/wifebeater combination. Tyra is there to give the girls a lesson on how portfolio structure works. She takes Kayla's portfolio, removes all the pictures and spreads them out. Tyra notes that clients in Milano are looking for more edgy, interesting girls, and so pictures should be chosen accordingly. The unspoken rule of portfolio construction is that models look best when they're looking at the gatefold -- the center of the book -- in their pictures. Tyra tells a story of her golden days, when she was first modeling. She'd take her portfolio to her agency in L.A., and they'd take out about fifteen of her thirty photos. They'd put the bad photos face down in the back of the book. And then as soon as she was gone, Tyra would take all the eliminated photos and put them back in. She describes herself as a dumb-ass who wondered why she was a catalogue girl who couldn't get editorial work. She thought she knew best. She still thinks that, actually, though there must have been a point when she decided that knowing best occasionally entails taking advice from others and then claiming those ideas as your own.

Tyra says that it's very important for agents to treat their models like businesswomen rather than hangers slash cash cows, and to educate them so they understand what will make them successful. She looks at two photos of Chris, and points out how much more gorgeous the one with the light on the face is. Tyra says that this is pretty much the process they use at judging, and the girls then decide to do a round of impressions. Danger, danger! Chelsey takes the easy route by screaming, "Dreckitude!" in her role as ALT. Chris's impression of Tyra has her saying, "I look at the eyes and I see the lust! I see jazz! And holla holla holla!" Tyra tries to laugh at her own reflected buffoonery and stops once she realizes her face may crack from the strain. With the final words of, "Sweet! Happy! Energy! Smiles!" she prepares the girls to be sent into the world.

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America's Next Top Model




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