America's Next Top Model
Jez Smith

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Potes: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Messes in a Bottle

Then we have Laura. She confessionalizes that her dream come true is definitely not to be confined in a bottle in a frilly pink dress. Yes, yes, we know her dream come true is to have a 36-hour orgasm. Laura tells us that she can do crazy, and she can do edgy, but she's not a princess. I mean, that is something to get over at this moment in time. Laura starts off dreamy, but soon gets a little too sexual. Jay says that it looks like a stripper pole is going to come down. Ben tells us that Dream Come True is for the young and young at heart, and a lot of the joy was missing from Laura's performance. Furthermore, she looks more confused with each piece of direction that she gets. Annaliese tells us that Laura could be America's Net Top Model, what with her American citizenship and great photos. However, America's Next Top Model is a role model to a lot of really young people, and Laura has presented herself as a bit of a sex fiend throughout. Do you want your America's Next Top Model to be a skank? I mean, I do, kind of. And I probably would have wanted that when I was 13 as well. But I see the point. At the end of Laura's shoot, Jay says that this might keep her out of being in the final two. And with that, it's a wrap.

Back at the house, there is Tyra Mail of Doom. Someone will be eliminated, and get fed to the really lovely-smelling giant. Sophie tells us that she was brought up in the countryside with rabbits and sheep and, we learn via photo, the cutest ever shaggy dog. My dream come true would be owning that dog, and spooning him every night in bed. Anyway, Sophie made it to London to model, and has always worked really hard. And clearly she's going to win this whole thing, right? Annaliese didn't do so well in the photo shoot, and is hoping that her performance in the challenge will make up for it. She's here to inspire girls that you don't have to be at all like a model to be a model. Laura is not confident going into panel either, and says that it's been a whirlwind of a year. She's been struggling and fighting, and knows that has made her better and stronger. As Laura tells us that she can't go home, we head to commercials.

When we return, it's panel time. There are prizes, there are judges. Jez Smith is the guest judge. Laura is first up for evaluation, looking crazier than ever and a bit like she's had an unfortunate run-in with a light socket. Nigel is a big fan of her photo, saying that it's gorgeous, ethereal, and feminine. He sees expression in her eyes, even though she's not looking at the camera. Jez thinks that the photo is beautiful and Laura looks like a goddess, but doesn't think the client was convinced. Kelly asks what demo they were trying to hit, and Tyra simply says, "Younger." Jez goes on to say that they wanted elation and a youthful look. Cutrone admits that youthful is hard to do, then says that Laura's photo looks more like an ad for a plastic surgeon's office. Instead of looking like something that an 18-year-old would aspire to, Cutrone thinks that Laura is embodying what every 50-year-old woman who wants to look 25 is going to buy. Ouch. Laura talks about how this photo was difficult for her, and that she tended to slip back into her sexy comfort zone. Tyra says that the photo is beautiful and that she'd want to buy the fragrance. However, she's not the target demo -- she's the target demo's mama.

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America's Next Top Model

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