America's Next Top Model

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What It Do, Shorty?

Next up is Ashley, who fell asleep on the couch a lot as a child. As an adult, she falls asleep on the couch with her eyes open in red plastic Mary Janes. She's thinking about tension and having a lot of expression on her face. It must work, because Jay tells her that she made the shot look expensive. Then we have Sundai, whose childhood photo features her, in her own words, in a "droopy, nasty diaper." You gotta work the Huggies, bitch. As an adult, this translates to high-waisted lingerie. Jay says that Sundai's photo shoot wasn't elevated or current and just fell flat. Next is Bloody Eyeball Nicole, in harem pants as promised. Jay explains that her set will have giant blocks to represent kids' toys. She stares blankly ahead and he asks her if she's awake. Despite this, you just know that she's going to rock it. And she does. Bloody Eyeball likes to be the underdog and to prove people wrong. Courtney notes that B.E. pretends that she's dumb and doesn't know what she's doing, but it's obviously a big, hairy front.

Kara is next, and gets to recreate her favorite childhood picture, which features her head popping up through a bunch of greenery. She looked exactly the same as a kid, minus some sheep castration. Things really start working for her when the photographer takes some shots of her in profile. Then we have Laura, who's recreating a photo of her looking blissful as she holds her baby sister. Laura says, "It looks like I done won the lottery, because I just think I've got a piece of chunk of gold in my hand." The love, it is burning strong. Laura says that she doesn't really know how to properly hold her fake baby, and Jay tells her to use it as an accessory. Laura totally holds the baby like a purse, and manages to pull the whole thing together with her expression. Jennifer is next, and her childhood photo has her buried in sand. Of course, as a grown-up model she has to sell clothing, so she's merely on top of the sand for her photo. She asks Jay if she can lie in it, and winds up wearing him out with how good she is. And with that, it's a wrap! One shoot down, 11 weeks of wanting to shoot myself in the head to go.

When the girls return home, there is Tyra Mail. Someone's going home! The message is delivered in a box with a skull on top, which can't be good. Bianca and Bloody Eyeball sit by the pool, and Bianca asks B.E. why she doesn't talk much. B.E. says that she gets in her head a lot. She stops noticing what goes on around her and just thinks about stuff. Bianca interviews that Bloody Eyeball is stiff competition, however she's also really weird, and she's really quiet, and still waters run deep. And THEN Bianca actually says to Bloody Eyeball, "I think something's wrong with you." Something tells me that B.E. has heard this before. She also knows how to recognize a stank bitch when she sees one, so is appropriately wary of Bianca. With this, we head to commercials.

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America's Next Top Model

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