America's Next Top Model

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Potes: A- | 1 USERS: A-
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What It Do, Shorty?

Model Erin is first up for her shoot. She has a big bow on her head, which is analogous to the bow headband of her babyhood. Erin has a vacant look which normally wouldn't cut it, but with her bleached hair and bleached eyebrows it somehow works. Jay thinks that Erin might be clueless later on, but she definitely lucked into this one. Lulu is up next, in a stylish version of the pigtail and jumper of her youth. She tries to work her props and work her face as much as possible. Rachel wants to portray a high-fashion innocence. Laura says that Rachel is adorable, but Erin notes that you have to be a little more than adorable. We catch a glimpse of new wardrobe stylist Emma Trask. I guess the former glam squad all got dumped along with Paulina. Rae was a ballerina in her childhood photograph, and as an adult has to wear plastic pointed 8-inch heels to make it modern, current, drag queen fashion. Rae declares them impossible, and as she falls backwards on her ballerina butt we head to commercials.

When we return, it does not appear that Rae has broken any bones. She decides that, on behalf of herself and hopes for a better life for her daughter, she has no choice but to make these drag queen porn star ballerina fetishist shoes work. Jay says, "I know the girls are short, but really?" Point: Manuel. Rae's shots are stunning, and Jay gives her serious props for looking like a tallish model. Meanwhile, there's another new crew member! Robert Mefford is the hair stylist. No Sutan or Christian? What is the world coming to! Meanwhile, Bianca is complaining about her makeup. I know you're shocked.

Courtney has to recreate a photo of herself looking in the mirror. She knows the meaning of the word "narcissistic," and also does a nice job portraying some sophistication in her photos. Bianca's childhood photo has her in pajamas trying on her mom's high heels. Jay asks what's up with her energy on set, and Bianca tells him that she doesn't like her makeup. Jay says that in the real world of modeling, you always have to deliver regardless of what you do or don't like. In other words: stifle, Edith. Bianca's attitude carries over to her photographs, and she looks severe and mad. After her shoot is done, she complains to Jay about her outfit, saying that her top smells really bad under the arms. Ten bucks says that's her own damn B.O. Everyone is already sick of Bianca.

Brittany is next, recreating a photo of herself as a child sucking on a pixy stick. As she sprawls out and puts the long, tubular stick in her mouth, Jay notes that it's looking a little pornographic. He tells us that she's a sweet girl, but the first two-thirds of her film was horrible in a way that only porn involving ladies can be. Lisa is next, recreating her two-year old clown dressed self. She's standing on a block in five inch heels with giant balloons all around her, and is having a bit of a hard time with it all. Jay encourages her to have fun with this moment. She refuses to do so, and he compares her performance to watching paint dry. Maybe she draws inspiration from sad clowns.

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America's Next Top Model

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