America's Next Top Model

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What It Do, Shorty?

Sundai, meanwhile, has a weave that looks like 10 of Tyra's castoffs knit together with sock yarn. So Tyra is giving her Rihanna hair. It's pretty cute, and Sundai says that she can work it. Courtney looks fab as she is, and so gets a little bit of a trim and a little more red and an edgier style. She likes its anti-plain Jane quality. Lulu gets a Cleopatra weave with full bangs. She's never had a weave before, and says that it was a big transformation. Courtney thinks that Lulu got the best makeover, and is now serious competition. Bald Bianca is getting an eyebrow bleach, and is not so excited about having burning acid on her face. I have a feeling that by the end of this episode we'll have a lot of inspired ideas about what we can do to Bianca with burning acid. Commercials.

When we return, Bianca reiterates that having your eyebrows bleached really hurts. What really got her, she says, is that her eyebrows were bleached but her hair wasn't, which apparently makes her look like "Dash freaking Robin." Can someone tell me what this means? Bianca is really stank about her makeover. She hates it, even though all that happened was an eyebrow bleach. Bloody Eyeball, meanwhile, gets a big red teased out mane of fire-hair! It's like the hairy incarnation of a bloody eyeball, in fact. B.E. feels like a beast in high heels, which she thinks is awesome, and in fact is awesome.

Lisa bitches with Rae about how annoying Bianca is, sitting and pouty about her newly non-existent eyebrows. Speaking of poor Rae, she's also getting the ice goddess / Lord of the Rings / kids who have paintbrushes made from their hair treatment. Laura gets some multi-colored highlights, and her hair remains long. She likes it. Kara is getting brightened up with blonde highlights, and mentions how glad she is to be able to keep her dark eyebrows. Audience member Ashley is getting a center part and a long, straight weave. She loves it, and Jay Manuel notes that Miss J. is jealous. He gets a weave of his own, which manages to make him look more butch.

The Jays tell the girls that they actually look like models now, and tonight should focus on getting lots of rest... in their new house! The house, as you might expect, is gorgeous. This time, beds are assigned, which really deprives us of some good-time traditional bitchery. There's a V-shaped runway in the house, along with weird, aggressively-nippled mannequins in bodysuits. The house has a bit of a Candyland / funhouse theme, with crazy mirrors and colors everywhere. And, of course, giant photos of Tyra. There are even cardboard cutouts of Tyra at various ages and various heights. When she was ten, she was taller than Sundai is now. This is why she's a supermodel, and Sundai is desperate. There's a giant pool and a hot tub, in which we can only hope some shenanigans might happen in the coming weeks.

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America's Next Top Model

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