America's Next Top Model

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Kicking the Hobbit

Meanwhile, Jessica is making tacos. A first step in making tacos in Arkansas, apparently, is putting the taco shells on top of the toaster and, as it were, setting them aflame. As Jessica says, "One of them falls in, who knew?" Even the box tells you to put that shit in the oven. The toaster is actually on fire, and there's much screaming and darting around the kitchen. Jessica tells us that she doesn't do well under pressure and, to illustrate her point, we see her throw a wet towel on top of the toaster fire. Alex tells us that Jessica is a mom and a wife, and thus should know not to put water on an electrical fire. Yeah, but she's still 18, which leads you to do all sorts of dumb things like have unprotected sex. For those of you who are wondering, this is how to put out an electrical fire. What probably doesn't work so well is posting a request for help on Yahoo! Answers. Boy, I hope that person is okay.

Raina yells to unplug the toaster, and at some point I'm guessing the production crew sprung into action and dumped some baking soda on the burning appliance. Only a charred taco shell remains on the floor to remind us of the danger at hand. Krista says that apparently Jessica can't cook, since she almost burned the kitchen down. She adds, "I know I can't cook. I don't go in there and try to do no extreme 'I'm a try to warm this taco up on the toaster.'" Extreme taco cooking. This is why we have the Bell. Krista jovially tells Jessica that if she had been by herself, the house would have been ablaze. Jessica says that at home she does cook, but her husband cooks more than she does. Someone -- I think it's Alex -- tells Jessica that she's a wife, and should be doing something. Hold on there, Phyllis Schlafly. Jessica says that she takes care of the side dishes and desserts, and Krista asks if she has a job. Jessica says that yes, she's a stay at home mom. Alex then adds that Jessica's baby is totally screwed. Boy, do I wish she had said that to Anslee a few weeks ago. That is totally grounds for a cock punch. Jessica is mad in her interview and calls Krista and Alexandra mean girls, but remains composed and non-confrontational in the smoky kitchen. Krista has the last word on the subject, saying in an interview that Jessica doesn't have her mindframe together and should have been sent home with "ass is grass" definitiveness.

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America's Next Top Model




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