America's Next Top Model

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Celia, You're Breaking My Heart
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Previously on America's Next Top Model: The girls took a trip to Ellis Island to prove that immigrants are fierce and, subtextually, that our nation's immigration policy needs revamping. Tahlia mysteriously did well, while Sandra and Kortnie continued to suck. Kortnie got the boot, but it was Celia who shocked Tyra and the other contestants with her plus-sized faux pas in trying to rat out Tahlia for wanting to go home. Nine bitches remain! And if you don't think that Tyra can't wait to teach one of them a major lesson, you're a rookie.

It is night at the Top Model house as the girls return from judging. Tahlia tells us straight off that she's so angry and hurt because of Celia's backstabbing ways at panel. We replay the whole thing in excruciating sepia-toned flashback. Tahlia was called first by Tyra, for having the best photo, which was a boost and shot of excitement and confidence. Like fierce wheatgrass. And theeeeeen Celia got a crazy look in her eye and stepped forward to address The Great and Terrible Tyzard in a very formally stank way. Tahlia felt like she had been thrown under the bus. And hasn't she had enough tragedy in her life? Celia interviews that it wasn't fair for Kortnie to get eliminated when she wanted to be America's Next Top Model so bad, while Tahlia didn't even want to be on the show. It's news to me that Kortnie gave a rat about the competition, frankly. If her drive was that big, then it makes her terrible performance even sadder.

Celia sits in her room and says that she knows she caused so much drama, but thought that Tyra should know if a girl's heart isn't in the competition. She interviews that she absolutely doesn't regret what she did, and if she's to be sent home then so be it. Something makes me think she filmed this interview after she wasn't sent home. Allison and Natalie are in Celia's room when she says this, and some of the other girls are upstairs with Tahlia. Sandra says that earlier she overheard some of the girls talking about how Tahlia wanted to go home, but she didn't think they'd be janky enough to actually do anything. We flash back to Celia promising to cause a ruckus if Tahlia wasn't eliminated. Sandra interviews that she doesn't think Celia should have done what she did. It was none of her business, and Sandra thinks that Celia should be worried about going home. I mean, at least she gave people something to talk about in this otherwise dull season.

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America's Next Top Model




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