America's Next Top Model

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I Be Like Ugh

Shannon is next, with her song detailing her fairy tale romance with the Lord. The funniest part of Shannon's song is that there's a moment in the chorus when not even Tom Polce could get her rhythm to lock in with the song. It also lays forth an impressive list of clichés: "Never thought that I could feel a love like this / This fairy tale romance has made my life pure bliss / You make my world go round / You turn my life upside down / And when I look at you / I'm reminded that some dreams do come true / You make my world go round / My love goes out of bounds / And when I think of you / I'm reminded that some dreams do come true." I would retitle that song, "World Go Round (A Bird in the Hand)." Nigel tells Shannon that he didn't see the glint in her eye, and Tyra basically tells her that she is a dead-eyed zombie. I think maybe Game likes it, though? It's hard to tell.

Lisa is next, and she really does look pretty. Her video is full of that thing she does. ALT monotones that he loves it, and that Lisa gave him the energy of Missy Elliot. Game lies that he wishes he had the song on his iPod. If he loves it so much, why didn't he get a copy of it while he was directing the video? Busted, Game. Cold busted. Tyra agrees that the song could be on the radio, and tells Lisa that she has something very special. Game tells her to get out of there and go open for Lady Gaga or something. Lisa accepts her critique with faux-modesty, or maybe she really is flummoxed that someone is so complimentary of her work.

And finally, there's Allison. Upon seeing her video for "Underwater," the judges literally be like whoa. Tyra and Nigel both actually say, "Whoa." Nigel calls the song and video extraordinary, and says that he'd actually buy it. Game clutches Nigel's shoulder to steady himself, then says to Allison, "You are weird. And it is the greatest thing in the world for you. You are the most weirdly beautiful person that I've ever seen in my life, and your eyes...they're weird too, but they're great." You guys, I think Game just asked Allison to go steady! Tyra says that the video was mesmerizing and soothing, and has emotionally penetrated her. I think Tyra is aflutter within because she has finally come across something that she can't ruin. It must be strange but liberating.

The judges deliberate. ALT says that Dominique can give J. Lo, Beyonce, or some kind of a highbrow European video star. Tyra adds that she also has a Latin American vibe, a la Shakira. Nigel says that Laura is the kind of celebrity who people love, and who can turn into a pop icon. Game adds that Laura is sufficiently girly, doing the things that girls do, because of how we all adorably writhe around in bed with our diaries every night. I'm doing it now! Angelea didn't have the best performance, but ALT admires that she's studying and analyzing her progress. Tyra loves the anger and fight in her song, but wishes Angelea could have displayed more of it in the video. Game agrees that he wanted to see how Angelea had been kicked down through her performance, but it never came. Game repeats his "oil in the tin man" joke for Alexandria, and Nigel agrees that she's stiff and robotic.

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America's Next Top Model




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