America's Next Top Model
Coco Rocha

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Fight Flub

The first flag is thrown, and Dominique is first to pose -- with one of the NFL players -- for the cameras. She kind of turns it out, to be honest. Bre is next, and tells us that she loves to bring energy to her photos. Nigel thinks that she looked a little silly. Kayla's pictures were dynamic and whorish, which is just what Nigel was looking for. Finally, someone scores a touchdown. It's the Red Team, with the ball being run down the field by Lisa. For someone's grandma, she sure moves pretty fast! Bianca tells us that she's not intimidated by Lisa in the least, because Lisa is a whole ball of fire with no flame. As much as I normally appreciate Bianca's bon mots, that really doesn't make any sense. Lisa is next for the photo challenge, and looks insane. Shannon does a good job, and looks elegant despite the fact that she has sand in her bloomers. Alexandria overdid her shots, and Nigel says that you have to remember your model. Sister Angelea of the Hormones pulls in two NFL players for her shoot, but then sucks with the modeling part of it. She was just too horny to remember her face.

Okay, back to football. Bre throws a touchdown pass for the Blue Team! But then back to posing. Oh, Allison. This particular kind of sand- and burly man-infused shoot is just not her forte. Bianca gets to show off her long legs, but looks a little goofy overall. Laura gives an all-American hot dog of a performance, and looks pretty great. And then with six seconds left, the Blue Team manages to score another touchdown and wins the game. I know you were on the edge of your seat for that one. Nigel presents big oversized checks to the NFL players, who already have been paid in T&A. Nigel then tells the girls that it's time to judge their photos. As Angelea wonders if someone is going to be eliminated on the spot, we head to commercials.

When we return, Nigel tells the ladies that they all obviously had fun posing amidst the tackling, but sometimes things aren't all about fun. Sometimes they're about standing in the whipping and obviously frigid wind next to a lady who doesn't even have sense to put the proper "e" in her name, doling out an opportunity to appear on your boss's insane and ill-named vanity project of a website. Being Nigel Barker is actually my idea of purgatory. Anyway, the MVM -- Most Valuable Model -- of the competition is Kayla. She is incredibly pleased by her first challenge victory, and also her butt is still pixilated. Kayla learns that she'll be styled by Andre Leon Talley for her TypeF.com photo shoot, which I suppose means that she'll be fashioned as a sexy and free wizard.

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America's Next Top Model

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