America's Next Top Model

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And then there's more never-before-seen footage of the girls having a very special night out with dinner date J. Alexander. He asks the girls who they think has the least potential to become America's Next Top Model and why. He stirs the shit with a serving spoon, doesn't he? Brenda says that Angelea could hold herself a little more professionally. Angelea's response: "Really, bitch?" J. tells her that she needs to prove Brenda wrong, and turn it on next time. Angelea is ready to do so. Raina agrees with Brenda, which Angelea attributes to Raina and Brenda sharing a brain. Krista thinks that Brenda has the least amount of potential. Angelea agrees, and so does Alasia. And so does Anslee! Brenda confessionalizes that they're pathetic little girls and she feels sorry for them. She predicts that in three months they'll be watching this and wondering what they were thinking. I'm thinking that they'll be congratulating themselves on their accurate and discerning judgment.

For their next photo shoot, the models went underground to portray different New York City women on the go, wearing Cover Girl makeup in the subway. Jay had to remind Alasia that she was supposed to look like a Cover girl, and not a two-dollar ho. Angelea, however, had her best shoot to date and impressed Mr. Jay with her soft turn as a fashionista. Meanwhile, Brenda was neither fresh nor focused as a student. Basically, the bitch looked old. The judges decided that Brenda needed more practice -- at working her hair, at not complaining, at life -- and she got the boot.

Then! Legendary supermodel and waxwork Pat Cleveland visited the girls and imparted some unusual supermodeling tips. She told Krista to imagine who she was while her eyes were closed. If her eyes were open, she'd certainly be distracted from this task by looking at Pat and her spider eyelashes. Pat feels Alasia vibrating out to the universe, and is very excited about it. Pat has an accompanying hand motion that Alasia describes as "dipping your hands in butter and spreading it to the world." It doesn't sound like it makes sense, but when you watch Pat it's actually pretty apt. Pat asks Angelea if she thinks her hair speaks for her sometimes. Pat often feels like her hair is telling a story. A story of a brain spiraling out of control. Angelea tells us that she likes Pat, even though she's from a different planet that's likely named after herself.

The girls headed to Lucky Cheng's for a night full of drag queens and Whitney Port fashions. They had a runway challenge and had mixed results when they strutted their stuff. What we didn't see was Pat Cleveland taking over the catwalk. She was like a waxen, alien stripper, and it even made Angelea feel nervous. That one fat guy in the audience loved it, though. Krista came out on top for the challenge, but as some unseen footage shows us, there were sour grapes back at the house. Krista totally busts Raina, noting that she saw Raina write that Krista won the competition because she looks like a drag queen. Raina denies it, and tells Krista that she must have read it wrong because she doesn't, in fact, look like a drag queen. The devil horns reemerge. Krista interviews, "How the fuck you gonna tell me what I saw? I'm looking down at the paper, like, I'm sitting right next to you." She adds a "Bitch, please," for good measure. Raina interviews that she was writing in a private journal, and it bothers her that Krista was reading it. Put a lock on that shit and keep it under your pillow, if you don't want other people to see it. Raina reiterates to Krista that she didn't say any such thing about her looking like a drag queen. For this, she gets a growing Pinocchio nose from the editors. Krista isn't buying it, anyway. She interviews, "If anybody looks like a drag queen, it'd probably be you with that flat chest and that flabby body. No ma'am." When Krista talks shit about you, she does it on the record.

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America's Next Top Model




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