America's Next Top Model

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Easy, McKeyzy, Beautiful

Back on shore the girls get made up once again in preparation for their photo shoot. It is no surprise to anyone that Jim DeYonker, whose official title, I think, is "Tyra's Bitch," is the photographer for the day. Jay tells the girls that he hopes everything goes smoothly. He has only hope to rely on, since he won't be there for the shoot. He's leaving the girls alone with Jim. I bet he has to go blow out Tyra's wigs for the mid-episode judging, then file down her calluses. Don't think that his job contract isn't without fine print, okay? Sam is first up to be photographed, and Jim gives her some direction. He tells us that Sam had great energy and is a sweet girl, but definitely struggled a bit. She needs to be more clever and imaginative in how she presents herself to the camera. Analeigh is next, and Jim tells her that she looks like she's ready to kick someone's ass and needs to appear a bit more friendly. Jim says that Analeigh can certainly work her body, and that's her strongest asset. She's great, he says, but there's more to modeling than just coming up with great poses. There is also smiling with your eyes! And tooching your booty! See, I've learned things over the cycles. Finally there's McKey. Jim says that she's cukoo in the head, but he loves that. You need kookiness to get different shots and variety, and McKey is definitely unique. It's good to finally hear confirmation that she's whacked in the brain, isn't it? And that's a wrap!

Back at home there is Tyra Mail. Tomorrow the girls will meet with the judges, and only two will continue on in hopes of becoming America's Next Top Model. The girls all look a bit sad and serious. Sam does not want one of the other girls to take away her dream, especially since she's been putting so much time and effort into it. Analeigh says that she has a chance to make it into the top two and to win the competition. She doesn't look at either Sam or McKey and think that one of them has it in the bag. Analeigh emotes, with many pauses for emphasis (or maybe Jay is feeding her lines again?), that when you want something...this badly...it's...so...painful...to know that it could just be over...so fast. Not for me. I have to say I always appreciate that Top Model limits this whole finale thing to one hour and really keeps it all moving. How else would we all have time to watch Stylista?

The girls enter the judging room and...holy shit, what is Tyra WEARING? It's like a kimono/apron combo, and her shoulder pads have apparently blocked her view to such an extent that she doesn't realize she forgot to put on pants. Trust me when I tell you that it's an alarming visage. Tyra gleefully notes that only two girls will move on to be in the final fashion show and shoot a Seventeen cover. Tyra introduces guest judge Addy van den Krommenacker. He is a preeminent designer in Holland and the final two will be walking in his fashion show. Van den Fiercenacker!

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America's Next Top Model

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