America's Next Top Model

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Bee-utiful

Nicole is up next, facing off against her big-eyebrowed, red-eyed inner critic. She tearfully tells her inner critic that she is good enough to be a model, and doesn't give a damn what the inner critic thinks of her. The inner critic thinks she should invest in a pair of tweezers. Oh wait, that's the outer critic. And then next we have the greatest moment of all time, which is Jaclyn facing off against her inner critic, who is also improbably adorable despite not actually having a fully-formed face. Through sobs she yells, "You think you can't model because you have a baby face! And because people tell you your voice is too high! But you can do anything you want to do!" She is literally shaking as she has this face-off. This baby-face off. Jaclyn has struggles, people. You try growing up with three extra fat cells in your cheeks. From the audience Alexandria laughs, which brings her up a notch or two in my estimation.

Next is Ondrei, whose inner critic looks like a devil with Nicole's eyebrows. She tells her inner critic that she's had to listen to him/her all her life. She's had to listen to voices in her head and suffer through nightmares since her brother died, she says, and it's all because of her inner critic. Ondrei's inner critic murdered her brother? That's some Inception shit right there. Ondrei cries for real as she yells out that the men in her life who were supposed to be here for this moment are dead. She asks what she's supposed to do. Most of the other girls are crying now, too. It's a very emotional moment, and I guess we should just be glad that Ondrei didn't have to have it in a giant hamster ball. Ondrei interviews that the challenge was uncomfortable for her, because she didn't expect to go that deep into her emotions.

Nigel gathers the girls together and says that though this was a painful routine, it exposes who they really are so the camera can capture their humanity. If they hide their humanity, he says, they'll be just another pretty face. It's their stories that make them special, and TV-worthy. Nicole tells us that the experience was cathartic, and she really did work through her problems. Why get a therapist when you could have an acting coach? Nigel says that since the girls all did such a good job, J. Estina jewelers is gifting each of them a beautiful pair of earrings. Jaclyn is very excited about the earrings, and thinks they all deserve it because they've been through heck. You want to talk about heck? I've been recapping this show for thirteen seasons. Where's my free jewelry?

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America's Next Top Model

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