American Idol

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
You Look So Deep! It Humbles Me!

More going home, going home, going home. Why is this on here? Why is this such a huge deal every time? It's one of the things where I feel like I don't get something basic, like why Ryan always says how many people voted and the crowd screams like that matters somehow or means anything in reality. Maybe the going home thing continues on from the obvious thing that there's a secret wonderful part of us that thinks we are terribly special, and would like that confirmed by Simon Cowell. So the going home part is the part where everybody can suck it.

That cute quarterback? Can suck it. The girl with the pretty hair in French class? She can suck it. Mean garbage man? Suck it, mean garbage man!

Ryan sits the kids down and asks them some damn thing, I don't know. Let's see if we can retroactively figure out the question he asked by the things they say.

Casey: "I had no expectations of getting past the stadium, so you want to go to the next level, and the next level, and so on and so forth." [My, um, emphasis.]

Crystal: "From an outside view, it's just you don't see how much work goes into this... It's been a crazy ride."

Lee: "People outside of here say 'Oh, you have a week off" but no, not really... It's totally different than I would have ever thought it would have been. And it's made me a better person and just it's made me realize a lot of things about myself that I probably wouldn't have known, but... Staying true to yourself and just kind of doing what you want to do mixed with trying to do the right thing on the show is just a hard thing to tackle."

Crystal: "Being pushed to give more of yourself and strive harder and work harder than you have ever worked in your life just makes you a stronger and better person."

Casey: "I never thought that I would get this far. But to me it's winning ten million in the lottery or winning a hundred million in the lottery."

Crystal: "I'm cool with whatever happens. We're at a stage where anything's attainable."

Casey: "You get like personally at least 150 text messages a day!"

Oh my God this is the longest segment I've ever seen on this show. I wonder how many people made it through that part. What we've learned is that Crystal likes to take the things other people say, and make them be about her. Big shocker there. Also that American Idol has looked her diabetes in the face and just smacked it really hard, because she has never been healthier than right now. Which just seems like it has to be a lie, right? Or does she just really not take care of herself?

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American Idol




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