American Idol

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Then It's Just Wigs, All The Way Down
ymore, because he's a dork. Man, when the cool kids' table you're still so desperate to be a part of includes the remains of Paula Abdul, how low are you?

Matt keeps his promise to sing it straight, and it's much better for it. He's a class act! Although I wonder if any of this confidence is because he knows they only have this week and next to use the PoV, and now's the week to do it. Plus, he is the most wonderful thing and deserves it more than anybody else. He won't win, but he needs to not leave this week. How crazy would it be if you waiting until the very last week of the PoV and then just totally shredded your face on the song, just really crapped it up or gave it some bitchface and they had to be like, "That was amazing, we're saving you" or risk throwing everything off for the rest of the hour?

Ryan and Matt agree on two things: number one, he was way better just now, and two, that probably this is the most intense thing that's ever happened in his entire life, professionally speaking. Simon asks him how many times he's been in the Bottom Three, and Matt almost cries about how it's been twice, why are you asking. Simon says it wasn't as good as last night, and Kara gets in on the big fakery screaming for attention about how great Matt is, and finally Simon spills the beans that Matt is okay. He cries, the whole world screams, the lights go wild, I'm very happy, the Idols pile on top of him like an infinite number of puppies, it's all very exciting. Sometimes Matt G is very good looking, other times not so much, tonight is mostly the former kind of night.

However, Simon explains, that means two people are getting eliminated next week, which I wasn't expecting but makes sense. And further, next week is Disco Night. Which is good news for you and me, and good news for half of the people left, but is not the week you want to feel extra danger coming at you. I hope Anoop will go home, because I'm done with him, but who knows? Although hopefully the theme will tease out all the crappy things about his performances and activate them. Adam might well screw it up again like this week, but he'd still be safe. Danny Gokey will do the same effing thing he does every week, which has nothing to do with the theme, plus he's still safe too.

Kris + disco divided by two equals Jamiroquai or Robin Thicke sounds, which is always fun. Allison will automatically come off original just because she can't actually sing a disco song, but I can see her screwing it up really bad anyway. I do not think it will be Matt or Lil, because they're both on this parallel journey about "artistry" and do the thing but don't do the thing but do the thing but don't, which is very disco of them, but also they're at a similar point where they're figuring out what that means, so I think they'll be standouts again next week, which should be good.

So ... basically ... everybody is safe ... except for two people? No, that doesn't sound right. If I remember correctly, this is around the same time every year where my psychic powers stop working altogether, so that makes sense. I'm comfortable with any of them leaving at this point, because they're such a talented group that it's less about wanting a particular ideology or niche gone, and more about having them all on the same basic playing field, which is a first. Normally at this point I'd feel like there was a Megan or a Sarver that had hung around way too long, and focus all my ire in that direction, but honestly the only people I actively dislike this year are Danny and Anoop, and they're both talented and deserve to be here, so whatever. Less wrinkles for me. See you next week.

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American Idol




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