American Idol

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Manic! At The Disco

Dear Fox: saying "SO ECO-FRIENDLY" actually is the very, very least you can do. So thanks? I'm old enough to know you don't get anywhere with anything unless you can sell it, and somebody's paying for Fox's self-conscious green campaign, so who knows. Remember the '90s when recycling was super cool, and now it's just something you do? I guess it's like that. Al Gore invented everything, he's like Shakespeare or that guy with the peanuts.

Paula's sartorial nod to the disco theme is appreciated, although Ryan seems to think Simon's white t-shirt is just as respectable. We get a look once again at the Top 7, and remember that two of them are going home tomorrow. Ryan approves of Anoop's Vampire Weekend getup as usual, but I'm more impressed by Adam's return to the Thin Blemished Duke look.

First up and without further ado is Lil doing a thin vocal on "I'm Every Woman," thereby demonstrating that she is so tired of trying to figure out the judges' bullshit advice that she's not even going to try anymore. It's pretty horrific sounding, to be honest. She sounds like she just ran a marathon and lost a kidney on the way to the stage; on the other hand, the key change is exciting as ever, and apparently one of the women she is doesn't feel like shaving her pits.

Kara swears we wanted her to sing Chaka Khan, and that we were wrong to do so. "You've been every woman, on that stage... Every woman but yourself." Nice. Paula tells us that her voice is totally shot and that she didn't speak yesterday. Didn't help. Paula notes that, hot though she is, Lil has not located her inner goddess. Simon is sad because Lil is sad, and she tells them that she had fun tonight. This earns her a standing o for some reason, and babbles about that for awhile, and Simon's like, "Glad you had fun, because your ass is going home tomorrow." No kidding. Ryan asks what Lil's inner goddess thinks about that, and her inner goddess says that all four thumbs-down judges can go suck it. Her inner goddess -- or at least the woman that is speaking to us right now -- would seem to be somewhat deluded, but in her eyes you can tell she already knows.

Ryan and Kris talk about how mystifying disco is for a bit, and Ryan's amazed that Kris will be singing "She Works Hard For The Money." Kris explains, "It's about a woman who works hard for the money. So that's why I picked it." Oh, Kris. You don't have to be smart when you're that pretty, it goes both ways. Even Ryan is amazed by this vapid turn in conversation, but recovers well, and thinks it'll be one of those revision arrangements that we'll love.

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American Idol




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