American Idol

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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"You've Mastered The Art Of Conversation?"

She does that "rats" move in her turquoise and yellow twinset, where your fist swoops across, and then talks as well as she always does about how much of a bummer it is, and Ryan asks if the telegraphed Girl v. Boy Finale will go to a Boy or Girl, and she sticks with her girls. Then she sings "What About Love," while mourning, looks great onstage and sounds quite good except for the overwhelmed/not-crying flat notes, of which there are less than ten. You know what's nice? No Power of Veto this year. Hopefully they won't bring it back at Top 12, because that was gross. I will miss her, but I can't say there were that many people I didn't love more than her. Still, sad. She's very talented, an early favorite, and you hate to see them go based on the one shitty performance that does it. But also, you want to think that's how it's going to work. You know? All the way to the end.

Ryan sits next to Michelle and she claps like she just learned how. Bottom row is Paige, Lilly, Crystal, Lacey, A-Rod and Didi. That hurts, because obvs I want Paige and Lilly and Lacey gone, but instead it will probably be A-Rod. Which I'm okay with now, and even more than I'm okay with Janell leaving, but by just a little. This whole Siobhan thing has me so fucked up and excited that I can't believe anything that happens.

But first there will be more dicking the girls around, and before that, Allison Iraheta singing with her gorgeous voice and crazy batwing dress and black lace gloves and adorable bright fuchsia weave. She looks like Allison, which is to say like Baby Latina Kelly C, but you can really tell that the tour did her good. Ryan loves her dress and Allison is like, "Let's do one of our weird awkward conversations!" And Ryan is like, "You've mastered the art of conversation, right?" And then she... Proves she has not. In her usual adorable way, but still. There's screaming in her pack-a-day yowl, and some Allisonnery and... I fastforwarded. You got me.

Paige was just about awful, even with her good voice, and of course she is safe for now. I get now why they did the top row so fast, because it's going to be weird drama in a sec. Nasty Lacey is safe, until next week. Lilly, who really does look absolutely lovely tonight, still has no love from Big J. Ryan asks her to "chill," because she's safe. Crystal is, of course, safe. Awesome. Her way gay "friend" is calmly pleased in the red room, and then A-Rod and Didi come to the center of the stage. No contest. Sorry, I love you, A-Rod, but this is fucking Didi we're talking about. She matters. You're just hot.

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American Idol

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