American Idol
Season 7: Top 12 Results

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | Grade It Now!
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He'll Never Dance With Another

Okay, full disclosure first: I initially thought Beatles Night (or, whatever, Lennon/McCartney Songbook Night) was a fantastically stupid idea. Putting these kids in front of the freight train of Beatles fandom, asking them to sing songs that are pretty much untouchable in our culture, asking them to both do the songs justice and make them their own? Lots of luck, kids. But last night was pretty damned great, wasn't it? With Chikezie and Brooke and David Cook kicking ass and Carly and Michael and Amanda and Jason being pretty great themselves. Even the bad performances were more boring (Syesha and Ramiele) than truly bad (Kristy Lee; the other two Davids). So, you know, mea culpa. Nice job, kids.

I am really distrustful of the new opening credits. This show doesn't get to be fresh! It doesn't get to be new! This is the same crap in different packages, year after year; the same contestant types, the same songs, the same critiques, the same innuendo-laden "banter," the same conspiracy theories, the same scandals, the same shocking eliminations at Top 6, the same crappily saccharine singles for the winner to perform, the same people promising they'll never watch the show again, the same people showing up the very next week. The same! So why should the opening credits get to change?

We open with yet another cross-promotional movie ad. Why do I always get stuck with these? Though I suppose I shouldn't complain, since I escaped Ryan and Simon's first Big Gay Fight of the season. Anyway, Horton Hears A Who is apparently a 20th Century Fox movie, and thus Jim Carrey is in the audience. Good to know.

Ryan takes the busy, Minority Report-ian new stage. "What have you done?" Ryan demands of us. See? THE SAME! Jim Carrey silliness ensues, none of it worth recapping, really, so I won't. Ryan then says that since last night was so altogether popular with viewers, they're going to do another week of Lennon/McCartney next week. On the one hand, it's not surprising that American Idol wouldn't be familiar with the concept of "too much of a good thing" given they've had so little good things on this show before. On the other hand, if what I read is true and the contestants had only 25 songs to choose from, does that mean they'll be limited to the same 25 next week? Because the way this season is going, with all the limited song catalog stuff, by the time we hit Top 8, the theme is going to be "Songs that are on Seacrest's ab workout playlist." Which, admittedly, will be awesome, and Brooke's piano ballad version of Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music" will bring the house down. Anyway: BOOO to repeat themes. And BOOO some more to this group sing, which is bound and determined to take everything cool about last night and make it stupid.

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American Idol

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