American Idol
Season 12 – Winner Announced

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 3 USERS: B
Grand Finally

Ryan gets to break out his most dramatic delivery about how this is the big one, on a half-lit stage where Candice and Kree are facing each other, stone-faced. Well, for as long as they can, that is, because they crack each other up within seconds. I vastly prefer that to whatever the producers intended.

After the credits, all of the top ten are back, singing "Glad You Came" in unison while all dressed in white as though they're either in a cult or dead, when in fact only one of those can be true. They get to enjoy a bit of applause in an awkward finishing-pose until the announcer calls out the judges, during whose entrance the celebrity-cam finds Adam Lambert, Taylor Hicks, Kimberly Locke and probably some other former frontrunners I don't recognize. Step it up, celebrity-cam. Enter Ryan in a tux, re-presenting Candice and Kree, who get a standing ovation from the audience before even singing a note. Ryan tries to chat them up a bit, but they're going on five hours of sleep so it's like trying to interview a pair of helium balloons.

Ryan introduces The Band Perry, which despite their dumb-ass name turns out to be capable of putting on a decent show. If you're into a country band that stole its choreography from Warrant, that is. Janelle gets to join in from the second verse on, and seems to be having a great time, silly moves and all. Almost to the point where it must be almost worth losing.

There's a little clip package about how the top five dudes think it's super-suspicious that they all got wiped out, five in a row. There's a supposed flashback to Kree giving Curtis Finch, Jr. the ugly-ass jacket he sang in the week he went home and going on to high-five Angie in the hallway. And then of Angie encouraging Paul Jolley to make jokes on the stage, Amber drugging Devin Velez's coffee, Janelle hand-editing Lazaro's chart to hide the key change that he never made, and Burnell getting shaken down by Candice for his lunch money, which he claims is the real reason he lost the weight. And then the little clip ends with the eliminated dudes busting into a party and confronting the girls and Jordin Sparks, who says it was lonely being the last female winner and wishes the guys luck on The Voice. Hilarious. Ryan then introduces them in a stiffly-performed group sing of "Let's Hang On," which they weren't able to do, so that's not nice. But at least they get to make it a whole Frankie Valli medley, with "Walk Like a Man" (which they did, away from the competition), and introduce Frankie Valli himself to finish it out as he leads them through "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" and "Grease." The number does its job admirably, which is to fill a great deal of time.

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American Idol




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