American Idol
Results Show

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Girls' Night, Out

The pre-credits recap of last night's show reminds us of how this year's insatiable sausage-press has inevitably led to the all-female top five, and then here come the judges and Ryan. The latter tells us about the alumni who will be performing later tonight (more on them later), and introduces the top five to put last night's diva theme in the ground with a Donna Summer medley. And man, the half-dozen gay men who get to be their backup singer/dancers are way into it.

This week's Fiesta Mission is a scavenger hunt that's like the shortest, dullest episode of The Amazing Race ever, as the top five use the navigation systems in their Fiestas' dashboards to follow clues around town to an alleged celebrity. Who turns out to be Matthew Morrison from Glee. "You guys are on TV, too!" he observes. What a prize.

Back in the studio, Ryan says the results will go individually tonight. Yes, even though Jimmy provided commentary from backstage last night, the Jimmy-reels are still here. He says Angie is technically great, but while he totally believed her performance of "I'll Stand By You" at the piano, that wasn't so much the case with her freestanding rendition of "Halo." Coming back from the clip, Nicki flatly states, "Jimmy has no idea what he's talking about," insisting that the Beyoncé song was a ten out of ten. Angie gets sent back to the couch, none the wiser as to whether she's safe or not. And with no Tweet from Beyoncé either, so I guess the jury's still out.

Jimmy reiterates his concern about Candice's "Straight Up" from last night, but says that her performance of "When You Believe" proved how smart she is. Ryan asks Randy if he had a chance to talk to Paula Abdul about Candice's cover of her song last night. Randy starts bitching about how he was totally unable to reach Paula via any of his available channels, which I totally believe and which is hilarious... until Paula herself enters from upstage. Nice of you to show up, but I prefer the version of reality in which Randy totally gets dissed. I think I'll just fanwank that she actually did ignore all his calls and arranged this directly with the producers. Anyway, she sneaks right up on Candice, which given what we learned last night about Candice's history of roughhousing, doesn't seem like the smartest idea. The audience loses its shit over Paula's return, and then Paula loses her shit over Candace's performance last night. They make Paula sit at the judges' table between Nicki and Mariah, just for the visual. It would be nice if she could move a little faster, though.

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American Idol

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